>> distances: tips on how to preserve love in a couple
As of today, almost 9 million Ukrainians are abroad, of which about 3 million are labor migrants. This was stated by Ella Libanova, director of the Institute of Demography and Social Research named after Mykhailo Ptukha.
Most of the migrants are women who were separated from their husbands because of the war. And, of course, the mobilization also brought distance to the marital relations of Ukrainians – women are waiting for men from the front. Long-distance relationships are a new problem and new realities for modern love.
Will Ukrainian relationships withstand the test of distance? What to do to save your pair? How to wait for the day of reunion?
Alice Portman, a relationship expert who herself has experience of relationships on different continents, shared with our readers effective tips on how to keep love alive when you are separated by distance.
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“When I researched this question for myself, I found out that the problem of long-distance marriage, as it turned out, has worsened not only in Ukraine, but also around the world. Researchers from the American Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships (yes, yes, imagine there is one!) blame the economy and the Internet for the emergence of a huge number of divorced lovers. The conclusion is generally obvious: the increasing mobility of the workforce does not have the best effect on the quality of personal life and makes a large contribution to the coffers of long-distance relationships: every year tens of thousands of people all over the world find each other on the Internet regardless of geography,” Alisa notes.
Students who, for the sake of education, leave their first (or maybe second) great love and go to other cities and countries are also prone to “risk”. The ease with which people move around the world and take on projects in different parts of the globe has led to the emergence of the phenomenon of distant marriage, or, as sociologists call it, the distant family.
After conducting research among 600 people who had experience of relationships at a distance, the Center's psychologists calculated that those couples where at least one partner has a reliable attachment to the relationship hold the blow.
What else do? Your task is to establish a strong connection, and any doubt creates micro-rifts. How to avoid this? To be here and now, not in thoughts and dreams. Call, text each other throughout the day in messengers, video calls, video sex, etc. Share everything that happens to you – both a chronicle of events and feelings. Be in the detailed context of each other's lives. If a man is fighting, the nest is flying. These actions will help a woman to hold on. You create a comfortable and stable environment for his return. And a man can be inspired by this thought. They are not just waiting for me, THERE is a whole process of preparation for my return. Death on the front is something a woman cannot control. To think about it is to kill your health and not have the resources to live, survive, and build complex relationships at a distance. Therefore, the advice is not to think about it, live today. Banal, but this is the only support in such a situation that a woman can give herself. And broadcast to the man that he is expected. Memories are an island of love, stability and security that helps you both remember why you want to keep this relationship. Therefore, resort more often to memories, viewing shared photos and videos. Do things that can inspire your partner remotely. For example, make a song for your partner about your relationship. When I wrote a song for my lover, it greatly strengthened our bond. Let's hold on, protect our relationships, and bring victory closer so couples can unite sooner! Alice Portman