“You don't care about me!”: the most popular phrases that ruin relationships

Illustrative photo/unsplash

Sometimes it is difficult for people to speak directly about their needs, so we use so-called double messages. For example, a person may express irritation to a partner simply because he/she is exhausted, but does not realize it. who never put it in the closet. This is stated on the Psychological Support platform.

Often, due to a lack of understanding of the reasons for their irritation, people use passive-aggressive phrases. Let's look at the most common ones and see what they really mean.

It says: “You don't care about me!”
Means: I I don't feel that I am important to you; I want you to pay more attention to my experiences.

We say: “Couldn't you have guessed that I don't like it?”
Means: I don't have enough care and attention from you, but I'm afraid of is to say it directly.

We say: “Nothing happened!”, “I am not offended”
Means: I don't want admit that I'm mad at you.

We say: “Oh, that's it!”
Means: I feel like you can't hear me .

We say: “You don't love me”
Means: I want you to show your love more.

How to learn to talk about feelings directly?

1. Start by noticing your typical reaction. For example, when your partner returns from a business trip, he makes you angry.

2. Answer honestly to yourself what you really want from your partner at this moment. Maybe you miss him, and now that he's around again, you want to get closer to him.

3. Express your need for closeness to your partner by using a direct message: “I've missed you. I want to lie on the couch and watch a movie with you.”

Important: do not blame the person for being gone for a long time and it's been hard for you all this time. Transform your irritation into a direct message: say exactly what you need.