Taken from real life. “Your brother has a hard time living, and you help other people”: My mother reminds me

For the past year, my mother has been constantly reproaching me for helping strangers, forgetting about my own brother.

But there is a logical explanation for this — these strangers do not make any claims against me later. My brother, on the other hand, has a special person for this — his wife.

She is always dissatisfied and no matter how much you help her, she will never thank you. My brother, on the other hand, cannot put his wife on her feet, he also sings with her voice. But my mother stubbornly believes that you don't have to listen to them, you have to help them.

My brother and sister-in-law got married two years ago. Parents on both sides chipped in and bought them an apartment – ​​a royal gift, something I never got. But Lidka immediately started expressing her dissatisfaction. It was just a one-room apartment, in a bad neighborhood and not even freshly renovated.

My brother kept quiet about it, didn’t join his wife in complaining, but didn’t put her in her place either. I don’t know how my sister-in-law’s parents reacted to her whining, but ours reacted differently.

My father got angry and said he would never lift a finger for his son’s family again, because they didn’t appreciate anything. My mother was more reserved, insisting that they were helping their son, not their daughter-in-law.

I seconded my father's point of view. They only have a one-room apartment! That wouldn't have bothered me at the beginning of my family life. My brother and I are twelve years apart. I've been married for a long time and have a child. The year my brother got married, we took out a mortgage on a two-room apartment that we had previously rented. We had to renovate and buy some new furniture because I didn't want to take some things from the rented apartment to the new one, they didn't fit in.

I thought about selling the sofa, wardrobe and a few other bits and bobs online, but my mom said I should give them to my brother. They're furnishing the apartment, and young people don't have much money yet. I actually planned to get some money for the furniture, but I didn't want to take a lot of money so I wouldn't argue with my mom.

I called my brother and told him I had the furniture, so he could come and pick it up. My brother came, took it, thanked me, and I put the story out of my mind. Later we gave my brother some decent leftover tiles and other renovation materials. He came to look at the tiles with his wife. She made a face but let him take what was offered.

I was nervous that night, I told my husband but then I forgot because I had my own worries. But then my brother's wife reminded me of all this. We were at my parents' house, celebrating something and we started talking about renovations, buying furniture, etc.

-You bought a new sofa? Well, you gave us an old one – said Lidka. When I asked why we had to give them a new sofa, Lidka pursed her lips and then said that it wasn't nice to get junk in a new apartment.

-The sofa was bought three years ago, so what's the deal? – I asked if my brother and his wife agreed with that, and he shook his head vaguely. My mother hastily changed the subject, but I remembered my brother and his wife's behavior. Now I don't offer them anything at all. Although I know they don't have much money.

-Lidka is unemployed again – sighs my mother — They will never furnish the apartment like this.

We gradually replace all the furniture in the apartment with new ones, and I put the old ones up for sale. They are all in good condition, so they go quickly. I gave some things away for free, like the washing machine. My friend's washing machine was broken, and we decided to buy a new one. When my mother found out, she went crazy. My brother and his wife don't have a washing machine, and I give it to my friend. Well, she didn't complain that the washing machine wasn't straight from the store, she thanked me while baking a delicious cake.

A brother should teach his wife how to behave in society and be at least a little grateful to others for helping him.

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