Taken from real life. “Mom pushes me through life not for my own good”: She wants to have something to brag about to her family and friends

My mom always made me move forward and achieve something.

She ran with me to performances and competitions, monitored my daily routine, diet and academic performance, even though she worked. She didn't do it for my own good, but so that when she met with family and friends, she could tell them how smart and successful I was, what awards and achievements I had.

I didn't have any clear failures, but sometimes I came in second or third instead of first. In such cases, my mother didn't yell or hit me, she just gritted her teeth and forced me to study even harder.

I had no choice but to follow her orders. Even if the workload was too much and I wanted to give up and just live in peace. When you don't have a single hour to do something you like since kindergarten, it's very difficult to live, especially when you're a child.

Even during the holidays, I would get up at seven in the morning, and my day was planned down to the minute. Mom loved bringing guests to my room, where everything was hung with medals and certificates, where there were trophies. When people admired and praised my mother for the daughter she had raised, she was really happy. They predicted a great future for me, but in my final year I was so tired that I didn't feel like doing anything. I was terribly envious of ordinary children who had only school and a club to choose from.

Mom thinks she knows better what I should do. She doesn't care that I burned out in school. I don't like my job, I don't want to figure out how to make money from my musical skills and other activities. I just want to live my life without worrying about anything.

I have to finally figure out what I want. I used to have races that my mother provided for me, and now it's time to stop, because my legs can't carry me anymore. I know my whole family will think I'm ungrateful: my mother did so much for me, but I don't care.

I can't go on like this. I don't want my mother to have anything to brag about: it's not my problem anymore. I just want to live in peace.

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