Taken from life. “I wanted to rest in retirement”: But I still take care of my grandchildren

But my dreams didn't come true.

I worked hard my whole life. Years at work, household chores, raising children – all of this absorbed me completely. I dreamed of the day when I would finally retire and rest. No rushed mornings, no deadlines, no responsibilities.

I imagined quiet days – lazy mornings with coffee, walks in the park, maybe even a trip that I never had time for before.

But my dreams didn't come true.

Because as soon as I retired, I became a nanny for my grandchildren.

„Mom, you have a lot of free time now, could you help– my daughter said, just a few days after I had finished my job.

„Of course I'll help– I replied without thinking long. After all, they're my grandchildren, after all I love them.

But no one asked me if I had the strength.

It started with a few hours a day. Then whole days. Until finally taking care of my grandchildren became my new „full-time job”.

Instead of resting, I get up earlier than before, cook, pick up the kids from school, supervise their homework. I used to think that retirement was time for me, but now I feel like it's time I've given to others.

When I once told my daughter I was tired, she just sighed.

„Mom, but we don't have any other option. You don't want us to pay strangers to look after our children?”

Did I really have no choice?

Today I'm sitting in the kitchen, staring at my cold cup of tea that I didn't have time to drink. I look at the pile of laundry, at the list of things I „must” do, and I wonder when my time will really become my time.

Because the retirement I dreamed of never came.