Real-Life. “My Mother Is Jealous of My Relationship with My Smart, Funny Mother-in-Law”: I Should Have Cared About Her Moods

When I hear jokes about mothers-in-law or horror stories about a husband's mother not giving her poor daughter-in-law a pass, I always feel uneasy.

Those are some funny generalizations! For example, I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. Barbara is a beautiful, intelligent, educated woman who runs her own business in her mature years.

I can't say the same about my relationship with my own mother. She was always a difficult person, and now, in her old age, she has become spiteful and jealous. As a child, I couldn't express what offended and irritated me so much about my mother, and over the years I realized that she always wanted to be seen, to be first, without any effort!

I inherited this from my father, and no matter how much I love my mother, I still don’t understand how he could have married her, given his intelligence and open, kind nature. Here’s a simple example: When I was a child, when guests would come to our house and someone would start complimenting my dress or just talking warmly, my mother would immediately send me to a distant room — go away, go away, don’t disturb the adults.

It's like a Cinderella story, for God's sake! And at that moment she would intercept my conversationalist and try to draw his attention to herself. My mother-in-law has a fashion boutique and it's no wonder I often consult her about my wardrobe and purchases. Barbara brought us so much from abroad – all my friends are jealous of me. My mother-in-law doesn't want to take money for it! My favorite new thing, which my husband's mother recently gave me, is an orange long coat for spring/fall. Of course, when my mother saw me wearing it, she started asking questions and criticizing me:

-Did your mother-in-law buy you something again? That's the color of a parrot!

-I can't talk to you about anything! I just got here and you attacked me right away! You don't read books, the Internet is a curse to you, you don't follow fashion, you refuse to dye your gray hair! You just get angry at your father and me all day long, and then you wonder why we don't want to talk! Why does he go fishing so often, have you ever wondered? – I replied to myself.

-And I don't have to conform to you! You're a daughter, so show some respect! At 63, I don't have to look young in front of men, that's just who I am — love me for who I am. You see, I don't read books. I read everything in school a hundred years ago! I might know you better than anyone else! Your mother-in-law just bought you all those clothes, that's all — my mother said.

-You refuse to spend time with your granddaughter, but I have to dance around you! Where's the logic in that?? – I tried to reach out to my mother.

-Your granddaughter is growing up to be just as young as you. And she's always bragging — Grandma Basia gave me this, Grandma Basia gave me that… It's disgusting to hear! – she replied.

-And how is it that everyone owes you, and you owe no one? – I sighed tiredly. And it's not about who is your mother and who is your mother-in-law. If your mother only shouts at you and you don't have common interests, then what are you supposed to do?

I like to communicate with my father, but I'm happier when he comes to visit us without my mother. It was only as I got older that I began to understand why he loved business trips so much. Nobody wants to come home to a screaming, eternally dissatisfied wife! And I'm glad I have Barbara in my life, in whose home I, my husband and of course our daughter are always welcome.

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