Real Life. “My Husband Is a Mama's Boy”: She's the One Who Controls Things in Our House

At first, it was just little things.

When I met Paweł, I knew he was close to his mom. “That's good– I thought then. A man who respects his mother will be a good partner. But over time I realized that his relationship with Mrs. Halina was not ordinary. She was present in every decision we made, every conversation, every step we tried to take as a married couple. And now, after five years, I feel like she is the real lady of this house.

At first, it was just little things. When we started planning the wedding, Paweł said that we should consult everything with his mother. The color of the decorations, the menu, and even the choice of orchestra had to get her approval.

– “Mom knows about such things, after all, she organized weddings for the whole family– he explained.

At first I tried to understand it. Maybe he really did want to involve her, so she would feel needed. But when Halina rejected my dream wedding dress as & bdquo;too modern”, I felt the first pang of anger.

– & bdquo;Paweł, it's my wedding. My opinion should count.”

– & bdquo;But honey, Mom has experience. You know she only wants what's best for us.”

After the wedding, things got even worse. Mrs. Halina was a regular guest at our apartment. She would drop in for coffee without an announcement, bringing her favorite cakes, which „taste better than the ones from the store”. She started decorating our house her own way – she moved furniture, changed curtains, and when I bought new pillows for the living room, she laughed at my choice.”

– „With colors like that, you won't last long. But don't worry, I'll bring you better ones.”
Paul has always been on her side.

– „But mom only wants to help us. Don't be so touchy.”

When I got pregnant, I thought something would change. That Paul would understand that now we have to make decisions as parents. But my mother-in-law took control right away. She chose a name for the baby that she thought was „classic and timeless”. She advised on what furniture to buy for the baby's room, and when I started planning the baby shower, she commented:

– „This is an unnecessary invention. It's better to organize a christening and invite the whole family.”

Paweł, as always, agreed with her without protest.

The culmination was an event a few months ago. I decided to change jobs so I could spend more time with our son. When I told Paweł about it, he didn't respond. The next day Halina came.

– „Anka, I heard you want to change jobs. It's not a good idea. You have to think about stability. And besides, who would support this house then? ? Paweł can't do it alone.”

That was the moment I realized that my life wasn't mine. Every decision was filtered through her opinion. My husband, instead of standing by my side, was just a shadow of his mother.

Today I am at a crossroads. I love Paweł, but I feel that he loves his mother more. He cannot make a decision without her, and I feel that I am losing control of my life. I tried to talk to him, explain how I feel, but his answer was always the same:

– „Don't overdo it, Anka. Mom knows what she's doing. He doesn't want to hurt us.”

Is this true? Does he want what's best for us? Or maybe he just can't let go of his control over his son? Every day I wonder if I have the strength to keep fighting. I'm afraid that if nothing changes, one day I'll wake up and realize that I've lost myself in a life that was never mine.

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