Real-life. “My Husband Forbade Me to Work My Whole Life”: Now, in Retirement, He Says I'm a Burden

Every attempt to find a job ended in a fight.

When I got married, I was 22 years old and my head was full of dreams. I wanted to work, develop, build a career. I was full of energy, ready for challenges, but my husband had a different vision of our life. “You don't have to work,” he said. “You take care of the house, and I'll earn money for everything.” It sounded like a promise of a life without worries, but I quickly realized it was a trap.

Every attempt to find a job ended in a fight. “There's no need,” he repeated. “You have everything you need. Why do you need a job?? You want the house to be neglected.? So the children don't have a mother.?” In time, I stopped insisting. My dreams of independence faded away, and I reconciled myself with the role of a housewife.

Years passed. I raised our children, ran the household, did everything to make our lives comfortable. But I never heard a word of appreciation. Over time, I began to feel like I was more of a servant than a partner. He would come home from work, sit in an armchair, and expect everything to be ready – dinner on the table, laundry done, the house sparkling. And I, although tired, always did everything to please him.

Now, years later, we are both retired. The house is quiet, the children moved out a long time ago, and it was just the two of us. I thought that finally the time would come for us to enjoy each other, spend our days together, and find joy in simple things. But the reality turned out to be different.

“You're sitting on my neck– he told me one day, looking at me with irritation. “I've worked my whole life so you could be comfortable, and now I have to support you in your old age.”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "How can you say that?” – I asked, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. "I sacrificed my entire life for you, for our family. You wouldn't let me work, and now you hold it against me?”

”Don't exaggerate” – he replied coldly. "I earned money, I paid the bills. You had a comfortable life, so don't complain.”

I looked at him and felt anger rising in my heart. “A comfortable life?” – I exclaimed. ”I spent every day cleaning, cooking, raising our children. I never had a moment to myself, I never got to pursue my dreams because you said I couldn't work. And now you have the nerve to say I'm breathing down your neck?”

I realized that I had been letting him control me my whole life. I had given up my ambitions to fulfill his expectations, and now, when we were supposed to be each other's backs, I was treated like a burden.

That day, something inside me snapped. I realized that I had to start thinking about myself. I started looking for small jobs that I could do at home – sewing, small crafts, selling things online. I didn’t do it for the money, but for myself. To feel like I was worth something, that I wasn’t just an addition to his life.

See what else we’ve written about in recent days: From real life. “We bought a new house”: It was supposed to be our nest. But my husband cheated on me with a new neighbor and now she’s pregnant