Real Life. “My Grandson Stopped Visiting Me”: He Thinks I Don't Fit Into His New Life

Michael was growing up, and our relationship was always close.

Since he was born, I was with him. Michael was my first grandson and my pride. Every step he took, every word filled my heart with love. I always said that it was for moments like these that life was worth living. I looked after him while his parents worked, made his favourite pancakes, played with him in the garden and taught him everything I knew. He was my world and I was his beloved grandmother.

Michael grew up, and our relationship was always close. Even as a teenager, he would gladly come to my house, sit on the couch, and tell me about his plans. I loved these moments – I felt that I was important to him. But everything started to change when he finished his studies and moved to a bigger city.

At first, he called regularly, and I couldn't help but feel proud when I heard about his successes at work and his new life. He promised that despite the distance, he would still visit me. But these visits became less and less frequent, until they finally stopped altogether.

I started calling him more often, asking when he would find time to visit me. Every time he had an excuse.

– „Grandma, I have a lot of work right now. Maybe next month?”

– „I won't be able to come, but I promise I'll get in touch.”

Those promises never came true. Each call was shorter and colder, and I could sense the distance in his voice. I began to wonder if I had done something wrong, or if I had let him down. But I didn't have the courage to ask directly.

One day, while talking to my daughter, I accidentally found out that Michał was avoiding me on purpose.

– „Mom, Michael said that sometimes it's hard for him to talk to you. He thinks the generation gap is too big, that you don't understand his life.”

My daughter's words were like a blow. I don't understand his life? I always tried to support him in everything he did. I never imposed my beliefs on him, and now I was hearing that I didn't fit into his new world.

I decided to write to Michael. I wanted him to understand how much I cared about him. In the letter I wrote that I missed him and that nothing made me happier than his presence. I was counting on a reply, but weeks passed and I didn't get even a short message.
A few months later I found out that Michael had returned to our city for the holidays.

I hoped he would visit me, but he didn't come. Instead, he met up with his friends, and I found out about it through social media, where I saw photos of him leaving. I sat in my empty house, looking at those photos, wondering when I became someone so forgettable to him.

I gathered my courage and called him. This time, I wasn’t going to let him brush me off.

„Michał, can you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?– I asked directly.
There was a moment of silence, and then I heard his voice.

„Grandma, it’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that my life is different now. I have my own things, my own friends. I don't know if you fit into all this.”

Those words broke my heart. I don't fit into his life? I, who have devoted so many years, so much love to him?

– „Michał, I have always tried to be a support to you. I have never asked for much, only for you to visit me. Am I really such a big burden?”

He didn't answer. I only heard his sigh, and then the conversation ended.

Michał rarely talks these days. Sometimes I see pictures of him on the internet – smiling, surrounded by friends. I look at these pictures with a mixture of pride and sadness. Maybe I really don't fit into his new life, but I will never stop loving him. I understood that a grandmother's love does not require reciprocity, but it always leaves a trace – even if it goes unnoticed.

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