Real Life. “My Daughter Said She Was Ashamed of Me”: I Don't Fit Into Her New World

Everything has changed.

I devoted my entire life to my daughter, Zuzanna. She was the apple of my eye, my greatest treasure. I wanted her to have everything I never had – good education, comfortable life, chances for success.

I worked hard so she could go to college, fulfill her dreams, travel. I never spared her anything, although I denied myself a lot.

And then everything changed.

Zuzanna finished college, got a great job, met people from a “better world”. People who wore expensive brands, ate at fancy restaurants, had their own businesses and homes that I could only dream of.

I was happy for her success until I realized that I no longer fit into her life.

I felt it for the first time at one of the family gatherings.

„Mom, maybe don't wear that old dress?– she said quietly, just before leaving.

“Why?” – I asked, surprised. I'd always liked her.

“Because… it's not appropriate– she replied with slight embarrassment.

I ignored it, but then it got worse.

Once, when I suggested dropping by her office for coffee, I heard:

“Mom, this might not be the best idea. My friends… you know, they're from a different environment.”

I froze. From a different environment?

And then this day came.

We were sitting in a café, and I, as always, was happy to spend some time with her. Then her friend approached the table. Elegant, smiling, smelling of expensive perfume.

„Zuzka, is this your mom?– she asked with a broad smile.

„Yes, but… you know– Zuzanna smiled nervously. „My mom is very… traditional.”

Traditional?

I was sure I misheard. But then she looked at me and added quietly:

„Mom, sometimes I'm ashamed of how you behave. You don't fit into my world.”

I don't fit into her world.”

My heart broke.”

I raised her, gave her everything, and now that she's successful, I've become a burden to her.”

I'm sitting in my modest apartment now, looking at pictures of little Zuzia, who used to cuddle up to me and say: ”Mommy, I'll never leave you.”

But that Zuzia is gone has.

And I don't know what hurts more – that she's ashamed of me or that I still love her despite everything.