Real Life. “My Daughter-in-Law Stays Home All Day”: Then She Tries to Pass Some of the Household Duties on to My Son

I keep waiting for my son to run out of patience and open his eyes.

I don't have the strength to watch them live. My daughter-in-law stays at home all day, not on maternity leave, just for fun, and she has the conscience to complain to my son that he doesn't help around the house.

When they met, Ania was still working. They met at work – she was an accountant in their company. Then they got married, she got pregnant almost immediately, worked until maternity leave, and then decided she wanted to be a housewife.

– My mother told me to stop working, so I did – said my daughter-in-law.

My son didn't object, although of course it's hard to live on one salary. I was working then, and my matchmaker lived far away, so we definitely wouldn't be able to help. But she understood her household in a strange way. To me, if you're no longer working and are considered a housewife, then you're responsible for all the household chores, except for the really hard physical work. That means cooking, cleaning, and childcare are your responsibilities. Your husband has his job, and you have yours.

But my daughter-in-law sees it differently. She thinks everything should be the same as it was when she was on maternity leave. Back then, after work, my son would take over the “second shift.” That is, he took the child from Ania or got up to do the dishes himself or took on the vacuum cleaner. It was understandable, the child was still very small, sometimes you couldn't even sit down. But that was then, and now the situation is completely different, and my grandson is big enough to handle everything.

My grandson is now five, a quiet child, and if you put him down to play or color, he'll stay there. So the excuse “I can't leave the kid” doesn't work. But at the same time, Ania is constantly short of time, passing some of the housework on to her husband. This means that he comes home from his main job and starts working a second shift, just like he did when his wife was on maternity leave.

If my daughter-in-law worked and my son refused to help her, I would rip his ears out. Because they both work, they both take care of the house. But my daughter-in-law doesn't work, which I once commented on to her. I told her that she was home all day, the baby wasn't a baby anymore, so she could do the dishes herself instead of waiting for her husband to get home from work. “It's his turn to do the dishes today,” my daughter-in-law snapped.

I couldn't stand to see her sour face, so I arranged with my son to bring his grandson home to me. Over the past few months, I've noticed that my son is sullen and thoughtful, and he's not in a hurry to get home anymore. Apparently, his wife's tricks have worn him out. I don't ask him anything, I wait until he's ready to tell me. Or if there's some change in their family, it'll become clear what's going on.

I don't want a divorce for my son. After all, they have a child and they don't have to traumatize his psyche. But it's time to put his wife in her place. If he had done it earlier, there wouldn't have been any problems.

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