Real Life. “My Daughter Accuses Me of Favoring My Younger Son”: She Doesn't Understand That I've Always Tried to Be Fair

I tried to deny it, but her words brought back memories that began to overwhelm me.

Being a mother has always seemed like the most beautiful gift of life to me. When my daughter Ania was born, I felt my heart burst with love. She was my first child, my little girl, my whole world. When Piotruś was born five years later, my heart had to learn to divide that love in two. I was sure that I was doing everything to make my children feel equally loved and important. But today, when Ania looked at me reproachfully, my heart broke anew.

„You never loved me like you loved Piotrka– she said with a cold voice. Her words were like a knife to the heart.

„Ania, why do you say that? I've always tried to make you both feel loved– I replied, trying to hide the tremor in my voice.

„Yes? So why was everything always for him? Why did he get your attention? I always came second!”

I tried to deny it, but her words brought back memories that began to overwhelm me. I remembered when Piotruś was sick when he was eight. I had spent months then, shuttling between the hospital and home. Ania was a teenager at the time, independent, and I thought she would understand why I had to devote more time to her brother. But maybe I was wrong.

„It's not like I was ignoring you, Ania– I began to explain. „Piotruś was sick. He needed me. But that doesn't mean I loved you any less.”

„It's not just that” – she interrupted me, her eyes glistening with tears. „You were always the apple of your eye. When I broke something, there was a punishment. But when Piotrek broke something, you said: 'He's still little, Ania, leave him alone'. How could I not feel inferior?”

I froze. Her words brought back images from the past. Maybe I really was more understanding towards Piotrek, explaining it with his younger age. But I never realized how much it could hurt Ania.

“Honey, I never wanted you to feel inferior,” I said, feeling tears running down my cheeks. “I've always tried to be fair. But I must have made mistakes that I didn't see.”

Ania looked away. “It's too late to apologize, Mom. Now that I see how you treat Piotrek, I know I'll never be that important to you.”

Those words were the worst blow I've ever received. I felt that I was losing my daughter, that my love, although never divided into smaller parts, was misunderstood.

After that conversation, I tried to repair our relationship. I started inviting Ania for long conversations, spending time with her, asking about her life, her feelings. But the scar she carried in her heart was hard to heal.

Today, looking back, I know that I could have done more. I could have listened more to her needs, seen things through her eyes. But I also understood that parenthood is a constant balancing act between love and justice, and that sometimes, despite the best intentions, mistakes can be made.

My relationship with Ania still requires work. I know it won't be easy, but I love her and I won't give up. Because although a mother's love is divided between her children, it is never divided into less – and that is a truth that I would like Ania to understand someday.

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