Real-life. “My brother promised to take care of our parents”: But he left everything on my shoulders

But those were just words.

All my life I believed that family was something you could always rely on. That if difficult times came, we would support each other, help each other. I especially trusted my brother, Adam. He was three years younger than me, but he always said that when the time came, we would share responsibility for our parents.

“Don't worry,– he would say when they got sick. “I'll help them just like you do.”

But those were just words.

When Mom got sick and Dad was losing his strength, Adam promised he would be there for them just like I was. Only he was never there.

At first he explained it was because of work. „I have important projects, I can't take time off now.”

Then he said he had financial problems. “I can't afford to contribute to their care, maybe in a few months…”

Later, the excuse came that his wife wasn't feeling well with him visiting her parents so often.

And eventually he stopped even answering the phone.

I was the one who was there when Mom lost feeling in her legs and rehabilitation had to be organized. I was the one who took care of Dad when the doctor said his heart could stop working at any moment. I was the one who got up at night, gave them medicine, did the shopping, paid for everything out of my own pocket. And he?

He lived his life. He went on vacation, posted photos of weekends in the mountains, and I read his posts on social media while sitting by my mother's bed in the hospital.

When I called one day and said I couldn't handle it anymore, the response I got was:

„Sister, don't exaggerate. You're making it a bigger problem than it is. They're still coping somehow, right?”

I couldn't take it anymore.

„They're coping?! I'm the one who's there for them 24/7! I'm the one who's giving up my life because you don't have time! Have you ever thought about what that's like for me?”

He sighed. “You know you could always say no.”

Refuse? How can you say no to your own parents when they look at you with pleading eyes and say: “It's good that at least you didn't leave us.”

That was the moment when I understood that for him family is just a convenient word. For me – an obligation that I took on my own shoulders.

Today mom and dad are very weak. I don't know how much time I have left with them. But I know one thing – when they're gone, my brother should never expect help from me.

Because he turned away from us when we were inconvenient to him. And I will never forget that betrayal until the end of my life.

See what else we've written about in recent days: From Life. “After My Husband Left Me, I Found Out He Was Living a Double Life”: Was Our Entire Marriage a Lie