Real Life. “I Worked Abroad So My Kids Could Have a Better Life”: Now That I'm Back, They Have No Time for Me

I went to Germany, where I worked as a domestic help.

The decision to go abroad was the hardest in my life. I remember looking at my two little children – Ania and Krzyś – when they slept in the same bed. I was terrified. My husband had left us without any means of living, and I knew that my only chance of survival would be to work abroad. I promised myself that I would do everything to give my children a better future, even if it meant separation.

I left for Germany, where I worked as a domestic help. I got up at dawn, cleaned, cooked, and took care of strangers' children. Every penny I earned I sent to Poland so that my children could go to a good school, have new clothes, textbooks, and everything they needed.

Sometimes I allowed myself a little something – I would send them a card with warm wishes or a small gift. But the longing was indescribable. For years, I watched them grow up only in photos, listened to their voices on the phone, and imagined how much they would change.

When I finally decided to return, I was full of hope. I imagined how we would sit together at the table, how we would make up for the lost years. Ania already had a family, and Krzyś was well on his way to finishing his studies. I felt that my sacrifice had paid off.

The first day I arrived home, everything seemed different. The house was well-kept but cold, as if I had never been there. When Ania came with her husband and children, her welcome was cold. She hugged me quickly, then looked at her watch.

– Mom, it's great that you're back, but we only have a moment. The kids have classes and then a meeting at school.

– I tried to talk to Krzyś, but his answers were cursory. He was sitting at the table, looking at his phone.

– How were your studies? – I asked hopefully.

– Alright, Mom – he replied without looking up.

For the next few days I felt like a guest in their lives. Ania and Krzyś were busy with their own things. They didn't invite me for dinner, they didn't call, they didn't ask how I was. Each of my phone calls ended quickly, always with the same sentence: „Mom, I'm sorry, but I don't have time now.”

One day I gathered my courage and asked Ania:

– Sweetie, why does it seem to me that you're avoiding me?

She looked at me with a slight reproach.

– Mom, we just got used to life without you. You were abroad for so many years. You can't change that in one day.

Her words were like a blow. Was my place in this family really gone? Did the sacrifices I made for them mean nothing?

I cried for a long time that night. I thought about all the moments I had lost, the first days of school, birthdays, holidays. I realized that even though I was building a better life for them, I was not a part of their daily lives.

The next day, I decided to face reality. I woke up early in the morning and started making breakfast. When Krzyś came downstairs, he asked in surprise:

– Mom, what are you doing?

– I want us to spend some time together– I replied. – At least now that I'm back.

We sat down together at the table. I told them about my life abroad, about the difficulties, about loneliness.

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