Real Life. “I took in other people's kids because I felt lonely”: My son hated me for it

My husband died twenty years ago, so I raised our only son alone.

I never married again — I didn't meet the right man. So I devoted my entire life to raising Andrzej.

I always dreamed of a big family, but fate had other plans. Andrzej grew up, got married and had children of his own. He, his wife and children moved to another city. We see each other quite rarely, and I miss my son and grandchildren very much.

The loneliness in the empty apartment was sometimes unbearable, and after retirement it was downright terrifying. In one of the publications I read an article about women who take care of orphans but do not adopt them. At first I doubted it, but the loneliness and longing made me apply for the program.

I took care of several children of different ages. I went for walks with them, brought them home-cooked food, bought them modest presents with my pension. My new hobby, so to speak, gave me strength. I started feeling much better. I was leading an active lifestyle, I even lost weight, and my blood pressure returned to normal.

My son and grandchildren would call me by video, but I didn't always have time to answer because I was working with the children in my care. Andrzej must have suspected something, because he decided to visit me. My daughter-in-law Kasia came with him, along with her grandson and granddaughter.

Every mother wants the best for her child, but what happens when our passions and involvement in each other's lives become a source of conflict? My story began with increasingly casual phone and video conversations with my son, which prompted him to visit, during which he expressed his concerns about my health and well-being.

I hadn't told him before that I had been involved in caring for children from the orphanage for a long time. For me, it is a way to overcome loneliness and an opportunity to give love and support to these little ones. However, when my son found out about my involvement, he exploded with anger, thinking that I should focus on my family.

When faced with a conflict with my son, I feel unfairly judged. For years, I raised him alone, giving him all my attention. Now, when I try to find meaning in life by helping others, I feel rejected. My daughter-in-law is trying to reconcile us, believing that emotions will eventually subside. Will they really??

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