Real Life. “I Gave My Life to My Children”: Now I Feel Like a Burden to Them

I have dedicated my entire life to my children.

I am sitting in an armchair by the window, looking at the world outside. Rain gently taps the panes, and autumn leaves dance in the wind. I used to love this time of year – it reminded me of new beginnings, of warm evenings spent with family. But now all I feel is cold and empty.

I devoted my whole life to my children. When Tomek was born, I was a young mother full of energy and dreams. Then Ania came into the world, and Kasia right after her. I quit my job to be with them, to support them in every step. My husband Marek often went on business trips, so I was the one who bore the burden of raising three children. I didn't complain. Their every smile, every achievement was the greatest reward for me.

I remember the nights spent with sick children, the days full of running between school, extracurricular activities and home. I remember how I denied myself new clothes or pleasures in order to pay for their music lessons, language courses, school trips. I was proud to see them grow, to see them become independent.

They are all adults now. Tomek is a doctor in a big city, Ania has her own company, and Kasia went abroad. Marek left a few years ago, leaving me alone in an empty house. I thought the children would visit me more often, that we would spend holidays together, that they would ask about my health. But reality turned out to be different.

The phone rings less and less often. When I try to contact them, all I hear is: “Mom, I'm busy right now”, “I'll call you back later”, “I can't talk right now”. Visits ? Occasional and short. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not interfering with their lives.

I've had some health problems lately. My heart doesn't work like it used to, and my joints are failing. The doctor suggested that I should have someone to help me with my daily chores. With difficulty, I called Tomek.

– Tomek, I need your help – I began uncertainly.

– Mom, what happened? – his voice sounded impatient.

– The doctor says I should have someone to help me. Could you visit me and help organize some support??

– Mom, you know I have a lot of work. Maybe Ania can help you? Or think about a nursing home, there you will have professional help.

The words „nursing home” hit me like a punch. Do my own children really want to leave me in the care of strangers?

I called Ania. A similar conversation. Kasia didn't even answer the phone.

I feel lonely like never before. Have I really become a burden to them? Does my sacrifice mean nothing? I gave them everything I had my whole life. And now, when I need support, I'm left alone.

I look at the photos hanging on the wall – smiling faces of my children, moments of happiness frozen in time. I wonder where I went wrong. Was I too lenient? Did I not teach them empathy?

The doorbell tears me out of my thoughts. I open it with hope, but it's just the postman with bills. I close the door and go back to my armchair.

Maybe I should accept this situation. Maybe it's time to think about myself, although I don't know what it's like to live for myself anymore. But I know one thing for sure – the love I gave them was sincere and unconditional. Even though I feel like a burden to them now, in my heart I still love them just the same.