Real Life. “I Don't Like Visiting My Husband's Parents”: They Always Make Me Work

My husband is a man who is very attached to his family. In all the years we were married, he took me to his parents almost every weekend.

To be honest, I never liked these trips. Even though they have a nice house, staying there is a real challenge for me, because every time I crossed the threshold, I was greeted not with warmth and care, but with endless tasks and requests.

I couldn't just sit down at the table with a cup of tea. From the first moment they wanted to give me some task, as if I was an employee, not a guest. She invited my husband and other men to relax with tea, and practically took me out of the way and put me on the treadmill. Only no one warned me beforehand about the wallpaper I was told to stick on, or the garden furniture that needed scrubbing.

As a result, my mother-in-law and I spent the whole day tinkering with wallpaper and other projects and went to bed very late. Do you think I could sleep in the next day? No! My mother-in-law woke us up in the middle of the night and immediately gave us all the tasks for the day. As a result, when we got home on Sunday evening, I felt so tired that I had no energy for another week of work. This is just one example. In reality, this happens regularly. I understand that this is normal practice for my husband. He is their son and therefore feels obligated to help his parents. I also help my parents, but they live in another city and we rarely go there.

When I tried to talk to my husband about this, he didn't seem to understand what the problem was. I presented my point of view that these weekends were killing me and I had no energy for work during the week, to which my husband reacted with surprise.

Finally I said straight out that I could help out from time to time, but not every weekend – absolutely! My husband huffed and went alone this time. That weekend I stayed home. And it was just wonderful! I finally got a good night's sleep, did all my chores in peace. I lay in the bathtub, read a book. I prepared food for the coming week. After all that I still had half a day off! By my standards, it was a kind of unheard of luxury. However, the following week I got a call from my mother-in-law.

-Krysia, why didn't you come with Marek? – she asked.

-I had a lot of things to do around the house – I replied politely. – That's why I couldn't.

-Oh, the things you can do in the city! – my mother-in-law snorted. – I wanted to whitewash the bathroom with you this weekend.

-And that's exactly why I wasn't there. You invite us over, and every time I have to work the whole weekend. And by the way, I'm really tired at work. And I have enough to do at home, even if you don't think so. And I can't spend every weekend with you.

My mother-in-law got indignant, huffed something in her toxic style, and hung up. My husband is trying to convince me to reconcile with his mother, saying that it's not right that we're one family. But I don't want to! For so many years I helped her, sacrificing my private time and rest. I've had enough!

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