Real Life. “Don't You Dare Do That Again”: My Husband Yelled When I Gave All of “Our” Savings to My Parents

When we moved to the capital right after the wedding, I never imagined that my husband and I would have conflicts over money.

At first, we set out to conquer the capital with a small amount of money in our pockets, which was a wedding gift. After paying for the rented apartment, we had almost nothing left.

This money was barely enough for food. The situation did not change significantly after that. The first year in the capital was very difficult. At least a few times I was ready to give up on the idea and go back to my house in the country.

But it was because my husband and I acted in a very coordinated way that we managed to stay here. The second year was not a success either. But at least we managed to get into a rhythm and confidently started reaching for the next salary. During this difficult period, our relationship was characterized by idyll and mutual understanding.

It seemed to me that since we lived heart to heart in such moments, then later, when everything improved, there would be no reason for misunderstandings. A year later, I realized how wrong I was.

The capital, which had tested us for two years, suddenly began to open up new possibilities for us. At first, everything went up for Darek. Literally right after the New Year, he was offered a higher position with a salary that was almost twice as high as his previous income.

Of course, we took a breath and loosened our belts. It wasn't until the third year of our stay in Warsaw that we finally managed to go out to a restaurant. That's when things started to take off for me. Projects were literally falling on me from everywhere.

My salary tripled in a few months. “Piotrek, Kasia and Wojtek are going to fly to Turkey and are inviting us to their place… We'll go?” I returned home that evening in a good mood.

“No, we can't, we don't have that option now…” my beloved shook his head in response. This news was a shock to me. How come we don't? Our family budget can be called separate.

My husband uses his salary to pay for the rented apartment, his clothes, and any large purchases (which we definitely didn't make in three months), and I buy groceries, household chemicals, and clothes for myself. At that time, I even managed to save a little each month.”

-You bought something? – I narrowed my eyes. Back then, I still believed in miracles, Santa Claus and the fact that my husband spent all his savings on a present for his beloved wife.

-No, I sent money to my parents – he replied calmly.

-Why? – I asked, confused.

-What kind of question is that, Marta? I am their son and I have to provide for their dignified old age! – he replied calmly.

-And you don't have to support your wife?

-My wife has everything she needs… Is there anything you lack?

-No, but only because I earn a good living myself!

-So what can you claim against me?

-Darek, I have nothing against you helping your parents, but not to the detriment of our family! I haven't had a vacation in over three years, and you know what we've been through! I want to rest!” I started to whine.

-We'll rest when we have the chance! – he remained adamant. Six months had passed since then. For six months I had waited for my husband to finally understand that he should help his parents in moderation.

Sending them most of my salary was too much. But the miracle never happened. He still stuck to his views. Six months had passed since then. For six months I had waited for my husband to finally understand that he should help his parents in moderation.

I gave my mother almost all of my savings so she could finally renovate the kitchen. And then, as if on cue, my husband decided to go on a trip to vacation…

-You were saving money, so let's go somewhere – he suggested.

-Yes, yes, but I've already saved the amount I need and sent it to my parents for renovation – I replied innocently. Suddenly my husband's face changed. That evening I heard him scream for the first time.

I won't repeat his entire monologue. I'll just say that since then he has forbidden me to send money to my parents. But I will only do that if he stops financing his relatives.

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