Real-life. “Christmas Eve is in two days and we live in chaos”: My wife avoids duties and refuses to help around the house

Ewa, my wife, was lying on the couch with her phone in her hand.

Today is December 22nd. Christmas Eve is in two days, and our house resembled a battlefield. Toys were strewn everywhere, dirty dishes were piling up in the sink, and there were piles of unfolded clothes on the table. The Christmas tree was still standing in its box, and the kids kept asking when we were going to start decorating it. I watched it all with growing frustration.

Ewa, my wife, was lying on the couch with her phone in her hand. The mess around her didn’t seem to bother her at all.

– „Ewa, you can finally do something? Christmas Eve is in two days, and it looks like we haven't prepared for the holidays at all.”

She looked at me indifferently.

– „Krzysiek, stop being so dramatic. We still have time.”

Time? I looked at the pile of dishes and the unfinished Christmas shopping, the list of which was still on the fridge. There was no order, no plan, no desire to change anything.

– „It's not about time, Ewa. It's about the fact that I can't do everything myself!”

She sighed, as if my words were just another background noise.

– „If it bothers you, then clean it up. We're not going to die if we don't have a perfect Christmas this year.”

The words hurt me. It wasn't about a perfect Christmas. It was about wanting to feel like we were creating something special for our children together. I wanted us to do it as a family. But Eva seemed completely withdrawn.

Now I started cleaning up myself. I washed the dishes, folded clothes, and the kids helped me unpack the tree. Their joy when we started hanging the baubles was the only glimmer of hope for me in this chaos. Ewa sat on the side as if none of this concerned her.
In the evening, when the children fell asleep, I sat next to her.

– „Ewa, we need to talk. What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like you don't care about anything?”

She looked at me with tired eyes.

– „Krzysiek, I'm tired. I don't have the strength or desire for all this Christmas fuss. You always want everything to be perfect, and I… I can't pretend anymore.”

Her words hit me harder than I wanted to admit. “I can't pretend” – what was that supposed to mean? Was our holiday, our marriage, just a game of make-believe? I tried to say something, but fell silent. Instead, I looked at her, searching her eyes for the answer.

– &ndquo;Pretend? What are you talking about, Ewa?– I asked quietly, trying to control my emotions.
She looked at me with resignation.

„About everything, Krzysiek. About how we're supposedly a happy family, that we have these perfect holidays that you fight so hard for. But the truth is, I feel like a machine. Kids, work, home. And your expectations. I simply don't have the strength anymore.”

I realized that it wasn't laziness or indifference. Ewa felt overwhelmed. Maybe I really was pushing too hard, focusing on the details instead of noticing how she was feeling. But these holidays were important to me– not because of the perfect decorations or order, but because I wanted to feel like we were still a family.

I walked closer, sat down next to her, and took her hand.

– „Ewa, this isn't about a perfect Christmas. It's about us. About us being together. I know it's hard for you, but if we're going to change something, we have to do it together. Otherwise, everything will fall apart.”
We sat in silence for a moment. Then Ewa looked at me, and tears welled up in her eyes.

– „I'm sorry, Krzysiek. Really. I didn't want it to be like this. I want us to have this holiday, but… I'm just afraid I won't be able to do it.”

You might also be interested in: Zenon and Danuta Martyniuk on their relationship with their son. Serious words were said about Daniel

See what else we've written about in recent days: From life. “My father says my husband has another woman”: He says it's because I'm not a perfect wife