From real life. “My mother is in a very difficult situation”: She saves her retirement, and I have to cover her living expenses

My mother's current behavior seems strange to me, because she has never saved money in her life to save for something.

“While we are young, we have to live here and now, and we will save for old age, when we will no longer want anything” – my mother justified herself. My father and grandmother didn't believe her and they were right, because in her old age my mother actually started saving, but in a very strange way.

My mother didn't retire for a long time, saying that there was nothing to do at home, she was bored, and at least there was some variety at work, it wasn't so boring. I didn't force my mother to stay at home. At that time, there were no children for me to help with. There was also no city that would distract my mother. But after the pandemic, older workers began to be carefully sent into retirement, saying: “Give way to the young, there are not enough funds for salaries for everyone.”

Apparently, my mother decided that now she could go on a well-deserved rest. It was at that time that I found out that I was pregnant. I was comforted by my mother's statement that she was now a fully-fledged retiree and would stay at home.

I was happy in the sense that I could count on my mother's help with the unborn child. I don't want to take a long break from work, so I thought that I would give birth, use part of my maternity leave, and then my mother would help me with the child. But now I think that my mother and I will fall out long before the baby is born and I will have to go back to work.

It all comes down to money. My mother stubbornly does not want to spend money on her own life, but she constantly needs help from me. When she first asked for money so easily, as if we had already agreed on everything, I gave it to her. Well, there are different situations – you can spend a lot of money, for example on medicines or buy household chemicals a few months in advance. What's more, at that time I was still working, so the family had it easier. But the month wasn't even over when my mom said she needed money again. The natural question was: what do you need so much for? Mom gave me a vague answer, but it was for medicine.

Okay, health is important, you can't skimp on it. Then I was supposed to visit my mom, and she gave me a whole list of groceries to bring. She said she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't go to the store by herself, so I should do everything in my power to buy everything, and she'd give me the money later. Of course, she didn't give me the money. Somehow the topic died down, the situation repeated itself the next month, and the third month as well.

I started to worry because the expenses were very high, I calculated how much I was spending plus my mom's pension and it came out to a lot. When I realized that there was no point in beating around the bush, I asked her directly where she was spending so much money. “That's how much – how much money I spend?,” my mother said.

I was tired of the excuses, so I simply told her how much I thought I spent each month. My mother raised her eyebrows and asked where I got that figure. I explained that I had calculated her pension and added what I had given her. “I'm not spending my pension,” she said. “I'm saving my pension.”

She explained that she was saving her pension for a “rainy day,” and that she was living and planning to live off the money she got from me.

My husband said that he had agreed to support me and the baby, but that didn't apply to my mother, so he wouldn't support her. It's harsh, but I agree with him. My mother decided to start saving at the wrong time and chose a very strange way.

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