From real life. “Mother tells relatives that she will move to a nursing home in her old age”: She thinks she can't count on me

Lately, my relationship with my mother has been a tug-of-war.

My mother is in her sixties now, but it seems she has decided that raising me is a long-term project that she will never get out of. But I didn't think it would go this far.

It all started when I disagreed with my mom on a few life issues. You know how it is: my mom said I stored my cereal wrong, or that my kids read the wrong books and watched too many cartoons, or that I cooked the chicken wrong. I argued, as usual, and explained my vision. We're adults. Maybe it's not entirely fair of me, but why should I keep quiet all the time? I can decide for myself how I want to cook and raise my children, but my mother doesn't seem to hear me.

According to her, I don't know how to cope with life at all, I'm lost. And there's nothing you can do about me. About two weeks ago, my aunt called me and said:

-Ola, are you completely crazy? Why are you threatening your mother with a nursing home?. Aren't you ashamed? – I choked with surprise.

-What are you shouting about? Who told you that nonsense?

-Your mother. Did you think she'd keep quiet? – I didn't listen any further – it was pointless. If my aunt was in that mood, nothing could stop her. I hung up and began to digest what I had heard. Of course, I knew my mother had complained about me to her friends and relatives, but this was blatant slander!

The next day I went to visit my mother. To avoid a scandal, I decided to ask her gently what all the stories were about. We were sitting in the kitchen and between talking about the weather and old recipes, my mother suddenly started talking about her future. “You know, Oleńka,” she began with tears in her voice, “I've been thinking more and more often that when I get old I'll have to pack up and go to a nursing home.”

At first I was confused by her tone and the topic, but then I understood: that's where the slander came from. She had made something up and probably deliberately started to be poor in front of her loved ones to attract attention to herself. Despite the storm of emotions raging inside me, I tried to stay calm and asked indifferently why she had decided that.

-Who's going to take care of me? At least there I'll be supervised – my mother replied with clear reproach. As if I didn't care about her at all! I bring her groceries every week, go with her to doctor's appointments, and even talk to her on the phone for an hour every day. This time I couldn't stand it anymore and calmly said:

-Mom, do whatever you think is right. – She raised an eyebrow, then shook her head several times and said with an indescribable expression on her face that this was exactly what she expected of me. I smiled to myself because I felt that at that moment we both understood how it really was.

Anyway, that evening my mother got angry with me and went to her room. I didn't stay up late and went home. We didn't talk for almost a week, and then Mom called me as if nothing had happened. And she acted completely different, I was simply surprised!

Mom started speaking more calmly, even warmly. She didn't pick on me as much anymore. I guess she realized that I wouldn't fall for her advice. She never mentioned that conversation again, but soon she started telling her relatives that I had finally grown up and become independent. She even stopped complaining about me to the neighbors, which was revolutionary.

Surprisingly, since then she started listening to me more. She doesn't judge me anymore, but advises me like a friend. I don't know how long this will last, but for now I'm enjoying our truce and peace.

Check out: Real-life. “An old lady was moved by her children to another apartment”: They needed a bigger space

Don't miss: Mariusz Trynkiewicz is dead. Poles knew him as “Satan from Piotrków”