From real life. “I went to the hairdresser and beautician, and my husband thinks it's too much”: Can I still be myself

One day, while looking through old photos, I noticed how much I had changed.

For years I lived in the shadow of everyday duties. I took care of the house, the children, then the grandchildren. Every day looked the same – morning coffee, shopping, cooking dinner, cleaning. My husband, Zbigniew, always said that I was his pillar of strength, that everything would fall apart without me. But sometimes I felt as if in this role he forgot that I was also a woman, that I needed more than just admiration for how well I was doing in the kitchen.

One day, while looking through old photos, I noticed how much I had changed. In the photos from my youth, I was full of life – with a radiant smile, well-groomed hair, dressed in colorful dresses. Now my reflection in the mirror was different. My hair was dull, my face was tired, and in my wardrobe there were only practical things. I felt that I had to change something, that I wanted to feel like the woman in the photos again.

I made a decision – I went to the hairdresser and beautician. I chose a new hairstyle that refreshed my look, and the beautician helped me take care of my skin. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt different – ​​lighter, younger, more confident. I returned home hoping that Zbigniew would notice, that he would say something nice, that he would remember why he fell in love with me all those years ago.

But his reaction was completely different. He looked at me critically and said:

– What's it all for? Hairdresser, beautician… It's just a waste of money. You're at an age where you don't have to try.

His words were like a punch. Instead of a compliment that would give me wings, I felt like someone had clipped them.

– Zbyszek, do you really think I don't have the right to take care of myself? – I asked quietly, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.

– Ania, it's not that you don't have the right – he replied, shrugging. – I just thought you didn't need things like that. We have different priorities.

These words echoed in my head long after our conversation. Was I really just a “good wife” who had no right to her own needs? Did all the years I spent taking care of my family mean that I should now forget about myself?

For a few days I avoided talking to Zbyszek. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to answer the question of whether I had the right to be myself. Was it unnecessary that I wanted to feel beautiful? Or maybe I had to change, to adapt to his expectations?

One evening, after dinner, I gathered my courage.

– Zbyszek, we have to talk– I said. – Do you really think I don't have the right to take care of myself?

He looked at me in surprise.

– Ania, I didn't mean to offend you. I just… thought it wasn't important to you.

– But it is important – I interrupted him. – All my life I've taken care of you, the children, the house. Now I want to take care of myself. Is it that much? Do I really deserve to be criticized for something that makes me feel better?

There was silence. I could see that Zbyszek was hesitant. Finally, he walked over to me and took my hands.

– Sorry, Ania. I didn't think of it that way. If it makes you happy, then you have my support.

His words were like balm to a wounded soul. I realized that sometimes you have to fight for yourself – even in a relationship that has lasted for years. Because love is not only about living together, but also about supporting each other in the pursuit of happiness. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was myself again.

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