“At the Altar I Said No”: I Couldn't Lie Any Longer

The path to the altar seemed endless.

The church was filled to the brim. Every corner was decorated with white flowers, and the air smelled of roses and candles. The guests whispered quietly, waiting for the moment when I would come. In my white dress, with a veil gently falling on my shoulders, I felt like the heroine of a beautiful dream. But inside I was torn, full of chaos and fear.

The path to the altar seemed endless. Step by step, I looked at the faces of the people who had come to celebrate my and Mateusz's love. They were all smiling, full of hope. My mother discreetly wiped away a tear, and my father looked at me with pride. Mateusz, standing before the altar, was smiling broadly. He was everything you could want in a partner: handsome, kind, loving. But I felt that something was wrong.

When I stood next to him, he took my hand, and his touch was warm and confident. “Everything's fine?” he whispered. I nodded, although a hurricane was raging in my heart. Marriage vows ” the moment when we were to say “yes” to the rest of our lives ” was approaching inexorably, and I felt that with each passing second I was breathing harder and harder.

“Do you, Anna, take Mateusz to be your husband?” – the priest asked. The church fell silent. Everyone waited for my answer, but the words stuck in my throat. I felt my heart pounding in my chest, and my hands were shaking.

”No” – I said quietly. My voice shook, but I knew I had to say it again. ”I can't do this.”

Mateusz looked at me as if he didn't understand what I had said. ”What are you saying?” – he asked, his voice full of disbelief.

“I'm sorry,– I whispered, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. “I can't lie to you. I can't pretend this is what I want.”

A murmur fell over the church. Guests whispered among themselves, and my mother looked like she was about to faint. Mateusz took a step back, looking at me with pain in his eyes. “Why?– he asked, his voice breaking with emotion.

“Because I can't give you what you deserve,” I said, trying to gather the strength to explain. “I love you, but it's not a love that will last a lifetime. You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart. And I”I am not that person.”

The words sounded like a sentence, but at the same time they were a release. For months I tried to convince myself that Mateusz was the right choice. He was kind, tender, but deep down I knew our feelings weren't real. He was more of a comfort, someone who could give me stability but not fire. And though I tried to ignore the truth, I knew in that moment I couldn’t do that – to him or to myself.

Mateusz stood there, stunned. “I’m sorry,” I said again, then turned and ran out of the church. The patrons looked at me in shock, but I didn’t care. I had to get away. I had to catch my breath and find myself.

Today, looking back, I know I did the only thing that was right. Matthew found someone who loved him the way he deserved. And I learned that the truth – though painful – is better than living a lie. It was my hardest decision, but it also saved my life.

See what else we wrote about in recent days: From life. “Mother demands that I take care of her because she is very sick”: But she was very toxic to me all my life