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Why you can't build a long-term relationship: interesting facts

Natasha Kumar By Natasha Kumar Jun4,2024

Why You Can't Build a Long-Term Relationship: Interesting Facts


There are people in whom even happy relationships do not last long. You get to know a person, you start a relationship. And everything seems to be fine, but after a certain period of time anxiety appears inside you, which makes you want to leave your partner.

At the same time, there is no specific reason for the breakup of the relationship. Most likely, the reason for this is either a behavioral pattern from the past, or an unworked trauma. This is stated on the Psychological Support platform.

Behavior patterns

If parents pay little attention to the child, do not give enough warmth , she begins to pretend that she does not need attention and care at all. Such a child develops an avoidant type of attachment.

These people are afraid of intimacy. In adulthood, they live with the fear of being abandoned, expect meanness or betrayal from loved ones. Therefore, people with an avoidant attachment style try to get out of the relationship first to avoid the pain. This gives them a sense of security.

The tragedy of people with avoidant attachment style is that they also want closeness and love as much as others But their psyche does not allow them to do this, forcing them to resort to the same patterns of behavior.

Why You Can't Build a Long-Term Relationship: Interesting Facts


Unlived trauma

It happens that all romantic relationships last the same period of time – for example, a year. The root of the problem can be an unworked injury. Most likely, in the life of such a person there was an experience when an important relationship was interrupted in the same period of time.

For example, when she was one year old, the family had a second child, to whom the parents began to devote maximum time. If earlier the first child was everything for parents, then with the appearance of a brother or sister the situation changed radically: the older one became jealous, there was a feeling of powerlessness due to the impossibility of returning everything to the way it was.

Such a person develops an understanding: no matter how ideal they are relations, a rival will soon appear who will destroy them. Moreover, the “rival” is not necessarily a person: it can even be a partner's job or hobby.

Why You Can't Build a Long-Term Relationship: Interesting Facts


A similar injury can appear in adulthood. For example, when a romantic relationship ended abruptly after a short period of time. This can provoke the fear of repeating this scenario in a new relationship. And this fear can destroy further relationships.

In order to become open to new long-term relationships, you need to work through all these traumas together with a psychotherapist. But there may be difficulties in this. After all, working with a psychotherapist is also a kind of relationship.

The client may have a desire to break this relationship. Therefore, it is important during therapy to track similar thoughts, fears in yourself in order to share them with a specialist. This will give you a chance to get rid of negative emotions and experiences, so that in the future you can learn to build relationships according to a new scenario.

Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my 1-800-268-7116

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