I didn't know that this evening would be the end of my life so far.
The holidays have always been a magical time for me. I loved the preparations – baking gingerbread, the smell of the Christmas tree in the living room, carols quietly playing in the background. Christmas Eve was the culmination of this magic, the moment when the whole family sat down at the table to share the wafer and celebrate together. This year everything looked the same as always – the house was sparkling clean, the food was waiting on the table, and I was looking forward to an evening spent with my husband and children.
I didn't know that this evening would be the end of my life so far.
Marek, my husband, had been strangely withdrawn since morning. He always helped me get ready, hung the lights on the tree and was as happy as a child when it was time to open presents. He was different that day – quiet, thoughtful, as if absent. I asked if everything was okay, and he just mumbled something under his breath and went out onto the terrace to smoke a cigarette. I didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere, so I focused on the guests and the children, trying to ignore this strange tension.
Dinner passed peacefully, although Marek was still silent. As the children unpacked the presents under the tree, he looked at me as if he wanted to say something but refrained. I thought that maybe he had problems at work that were overwhelming him. I decided that we would talk after the children went to bed.
It was already late when we sat down in the living room. The candles were still burning and silence filled the house. I looked at Marek and asked gently,
– „Marek, what's going on? You've been strange since morning. You can tell me what's going on?”
He was silent for a moment, looking at his hands. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye.
– „Ania, we need to talk. I didn't want to do this today, but I can't pretend anymore.”
My heart started beating faster. Something in his voice told me this wasn’t going to be a normal conversation.
– “What are you talking about??” I asked, trying to hide my growing fear.
– “I want a divorce.”
The words hit me like a blow. For a moment I couldn't breathe.
– „What? Why? Marek, what happened?”
His eyes were full of pain, but he didn't hesitate.
„I've been unhappy for years, Ania. I didn't want to hurt you, but I can't live a lie anymore. I love someone else.”
The world spun. In an instant, everything we had built over the years – our marriage, our home, our family – collapsed like a house of cards. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
– „Who? How long ago? Marek, please tell me this is a joke!”
– „This is not a joke. It's Karolina. We've known each other for five years. We've been together for two.”
Karolina. My friend, our neighbor, the woman with whom we've spent time many times at joint barbecues and get-togethers. I felt anger mixing with despair.
– „Five years?! You were with her when I did everything to make our family happy? How could you?!”
Marek lowered his head, as if he didn't have the courage to look me in the eye.
– „I tried to end it, Ania. But I can't. She understands me, she gives me what I was missing.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. Our entire marriage I thought we were a team, fighting for our future together. And now I was finding out he’d been living a double life for years.
– „What about the kids? What will you tell them? That you’re leaving us on Christmas Eve because you prefer another woman?”
He fell silent. I could see there was no answer. For him, it was already a decision he wasn't going to change.
I didn't sleep a wink that night. I sat on the couch, staring at the Christmas tree that just a few hours earlier had seemed like a symbol of joy and family closeness. Now it was just a reminder of how easily everything can be lost.
The kids still don't know the truth. Marek moved out a few days later, leaving me with questions that have no answers. On Christmas Eve, I got the worst „present– knowing that my husband, whom I loved and trusted, had been cheating on me for years.
Now I am learning to live again. Every day is a struggle to pick up the pieces of my life and create something I can call a future. In time, I will probably start to see joy in Christmas Eve again, but for now it remains a symbol of betrayal and pain. One thing I know for sure – I deserve love that is not a lie.
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