I always thought that love matures with age. That after the turbulent years of youth come peace, stability and this quiet certainty that you don't have to be afraid. < img src = "https://zycie.news/crrops/e87406/620x0/1/0/2024/11/30/164qtn060gwnw3dyfzkkkklomtwpeqmtpmwqzrms.jpg" alt = "older pair @pexels" styles = "background-color: rgba (153,152,116.1)" > < p > We were married three decades.

< p > thirty years of holidays, laundry, renovation & oacute; w, credit & oacute; w, b & oacute; lu, laughter, children, sick & oacute; b, co -& oacute; < p > thirty years of being everything for yourself, even when the world collapsed.

< p > until kt & oacute; I saw him with a suitcase in my hand.

< p > — & AMP; BDQUO; I go away. < p > I thought it was a joke.

< p > but he looked seriously. And calmly.

< P >& Amp; MDASH; & AMP; BDQUO; I want to experience something else. Something real. I don't want to wake up in ten years and regret that I felt nothing. ” < p > did not feel ?

< p > And what was all about what was ?

< p > with the birth of our children, with my fight for a house when he lost his job, except that I wore the whole family on my shoulders, when he got lost ?

< p > What was it, if not true ?

< p > — & AMP; Bdquo; It's not your fault. Just & Hellip; I still want to live. &

< p > A I ?

< p > I don't live ?

< p > does it mean that my life is over and it is just about to start ?

< p > left.

< p > not day by day & ndash; by hour.

< p > He didn't take the photos. Did not take memories.

< p > took himself only.

< p > and me & ndash; He left me in ruins.

< p > I couldn't breathe at first.

< p > I woke up at night, convinced that it was a nightmare.

< p > that soon WRA & oacute; will smile, make tea and say: & you know, I had a stupid sleep. < p > but did not come back.

< p > only empty hangers remained in his wardrobe.

< p > in my life & ndash; empty place after all I used to be.

< p > today is a year.

< p > does not answer my phone & oacute; w.

< p > children do not want to talk to him & ndash; & AMP; BDQUO; He betrayed not only you, but the whole family & rdquo; & ndash; m & oacute; bind.

< p > I am silent.

< p > because I'm not fighting for him anymore.

< p > I'm fighting for myself.

< p > and sometimes when I look in the mirror in the evening, I see a woman who nobody left & ndash; Only in the end she was allowed to be herself.

< p > and I think:

< p > maybe I will start experiencing something real.

< p > this time & ndash; without him.

Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116