When we met, I knew he had a past. < img src = "https://zycie.news/crrops/34ab40/620x0/1/0/2025/04/03/gkeh0e9fzobeww6fub9xgqqsmplguakyzufzmi.jpg" alt = "woman @pexels" styles = "background-color: rgba (130,122,105.1)" > < p > there was a marriage, there were children & ndash; dw & oacute; jka. They were divorced, like m & oacute; & in harmony in harmony ', though from the shadow of his look I read that not everything was so simple.

< p > I didn't go. We arranged our lives. Calm. ZR & AMP; Oacute; Increased. No drama & oacute; w. No chaos. Until now.

< p > one evening he sat in front of me at the kitchen table. He took tea for so long that he cooled before he said his first sentence: < br />< br /> & amp. & AMP; Bdquo; Ola was hospitalized. It is not known for how long. & Amp; rdquo;

< p > ol & ndash; His ex -wife. Mother of his children. I froze. Not because I didn't care. But because I knew what he would say in a moment. And said.

< P >& Amp; MDASH; & AMP; BDQUO; I have to take children to us. They have nowhere to see P & Amp; Oacute; We must be a family. < p > “family”.

< p > I wasn't ready. I don't have children. I never had. Not because I didn't want to. Fate just didn't give me this chance. I don't know how to talk to a teenager. I don't know how to comfort someone who misses her mother and can't trust her anymore. I don't know how to explain that my life is just changing by 180 degrees & ndash; without my consent.

< p > moved a week ago. Older C & Amp; Oacute; Rka is silent. He looks like a glass. The younger son makes a mess, does not clean, throws sarcastic comments.

< p > a m & oacute; ju husband ? I want well. He wants to save, stick and arrange. But he can't see that I am bursting inside.

< p > I'm not a bad person. I don't hate these children. But I can't suddenly be a mother for someone who doesn't want me and who I don't understand.

< p > I cry in the bathroom in the evenings. Not because their presence scares me. Just because nobody asked if I also had the strength for this weight.

< p > m & oacute; Jerm m & oacute; wi: < br />< br /> & amp. & AMP; Bdquo; we can do it. We are a family. & Amp;

< p > and I think more and more often: < br />< br /> & mdash; & AMP; BDQUO; And if I don't feel that I belong to this family ? & ~ rdquo;

< p > because the family is not only a roof over their heads. These are feelings, conversations, agreement, and & oacute; oacute; And I feel like a background. Like someone who was supposed to be a partner, and now is only an addition to someone else's life.

< p > I don't know if I can do it.

< p > but I know one & ndash; Even good intentions can hurt if you forget to ask: are you ready ?

Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116