I left when they were small. < img src = "https://zycie.news/crrops/eb1a0d/620x0/1/0/2025/03/28/nbqcgoqevuz6mn96jhkqvhdsgfprfcyx5xom2nj0.jpg" alt = "old lady @pexels" styles = "background-color: rgba (178,154,156,1)" > < p > Son still hurt a milk tooth, C & oacute; Rka was afraid of darkness.

< p > they cried when I got on the bus. I also cried — only p & oacute; in silence, with the face of the reverse to the glass.

< p > I didn't do it for myself. Not to explore the world.

< p > I went abroad to clean someone else's homes so that my children have their own.

< p > It was not easy. I worked 12 hours a day. I was dreaming in winter, in the summer I fainted with hot. I sent each zloty & oacute;

< P >For shoes, for notebooks, for medicines, for tutoring. I knew their voices from the phone & oacute; in and photos from the news. I wasn't at their first performances, but I was with every payment. I did not read the fairy tales to sleep, but I paid bills so that they did not have to fall asleep in the cold.

< p > I believed that they would understand it someday.

< p > that when they grow up, they say: & mum, you did everything you could. “& Amp;

< p > But when I was permanently after twenty years, I heard:

< p > — & AMP; BDQUO; You weren't with us when we needed you the most. “&

< p > I froze. Not because they were wrong. Just because they did not see my empty holidays, lonely birthday and quiet evening & oacute; in a foreign country.

< p > they did not see how I was counting every coin in a foreign language. How I kept their photos in the wallet instead of my dreams.

< p > Now they have their families. They are doing well. Have apartments, cars, children.

< p > I have a pension, old room & oacute; j and memories, which I can't show anyone. Because for them I am the one who has always been far away from the & razute; ra & And I have never been further than their needs.

< p > sometimes they call. Politely, kr & oacute; tko, as if with duty. Sometimes they ask: & ampquo; mum, why so rarely m & oacute; wisz, what are you ? &

< p > and I don't answer. Because how to explain that everything I had to say, I shouted all my life & ndash; hard work, loneliness and transfers with the signature & lsquo; out of love & rsquo;.

< p > I don't regret that I went.

< p > I only regret that today, when I am close, they are further than ever before.

Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116