From the very beginning I felt that something was wrong.
Christmas has always been a time of joy, closeness and shared memories in our family. Every year the whole family would gather at my house – my daughter, son, their families, grandchildren. I prepared meals with love, decorated the table with the most beautiful decorations, and Christmas carols were always playing in the background, which put us in the holiday spirit. But this holiday was different. I didn't know that it would end with words that would change our lives forever.
I could feel from the very beginning that something was wrong. My daughter, Kasia, was clearly tense. She sat at the table, playing with her fork, avoided conversation, and didn't take part in the joyful singing of Christmas carols. I tried to talk to her, but she kept giving me short answers.
I thought maybe she was tired or had some problems she didn't want to talk about yet.
Finally, during dessert, Kasia put down her cutlery and looked at me and the rest of the family with determination in her eyes.
– „I have to tell you something,– she began, and silence fell in the room. – „I've made a decision. I want to cut off contact with my family.”
At first I thought I misunderstood her.
– “Kasia, what are you saying? What's going on? Did something happen?– I asked, trying to hide my growing anxiety.
Her gaze was cold, and the words she spoke sounded like a sentence.
– “Mom, my whole life I've felt underappreciated and judged. I've always had to meet your expectations, live by your rules. Now I want to start all over again, without your demands and pressure.”
Her words were like a blow to the heart. I always thought I did everything to make my children feel loved and supported. How could she see it that way?
– „Kasia, we always wanted the best for you. If you feel this way, why didn't you tell us earlier? We could have changed something.”
My son, Janek, interjected, looking at his sister with indignation.
– “This is some kind of joke? Cut off contact with the family? After all, mom sacrificed everything for us!”
Kasia didn't answer. Her face betrayed a mixture of pain and determination.
– “This is not against you, but for me. I want to live on my own terms, without guilt or obligation. Please understand that.”
Kasia's words caused chaos at the table. Janek lowered his voice, accusing her of selfishness. My grandchildren looked at us with fear in their eyes, not understanding what was happening. I tried to control the situation, but I couldn't hide my tears myself. I felt my heart breaking.
– „Kasia, do you really have to do it like this&b? Is the holidays the right time for such conversations?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm, even though inside I felt broken.
– „I'm sorry, mom, but I had to say it now. I didn't want to pretend anymore.”
After that conversation, Kasia got up from the table and left, leaving us in shock. The rest of the evening was filled with silence and tears. Each of us tried to understand what had happened and why. Were we really to blame for Kasia feeling so lonely? Could we have done something to prevent it?
A few months have passed since that day. Kasia doesn't answer my calls or messages. I feel like I've lost a part of myself, but I still hope that one day she'll understand how much I love her. The holidays that were supposed to bring us closer together became the beginning of the greatest distance in our family. Now I try to live with this emptiness, praying that one day our family will be able to reunite.
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