My daughter didn't listen to me then, she ignored all my good advice, and now she complains to me every day that she and her husband are living a bad life.
I told her not to drag him to the registry office because it would end badly, but she didn't listen to me, she thought she was the smartest. It may seem that I am happy about my daughter's problems, but I am not. There is no joy in it, but there is fatigue and irritation. Because when it all started, I told her she was stupid.
Gosia always had to experience every situation on her own skin before she believed and accepted something. Until she saw it for herself, she couldn't understand it and quickly forgot about it.
Unfortunately, her childhood was over, but her habit of testing everything on herself remained. Her last global adventure was marriage. She wanted to get married, but the groom didn't. I watched it and realized that Paweł didn't need all those serious relationships. He preferred spending time with friends, drinking and having fun.
Gosia, on the other hand, had been planning her wedding and future family life since the second year. I often had to listen to my daughter's thoughts about how she and Paweł would live. That they would get married, rent an apartment, and have a child at such and such a time.
She had everything planned out. It didn't occur to my daughter that it would be a good idea to ask Paweł what he wanted. The closer the wedding date came, the clearer it became that he didn't want to get married. He was clearly more and more burdened by this relationship, he no longer tried to reconcile, and generally took quarrels very lightly. Gosia, on the other hand, did everything in her power to keep the relationship alive.
When she cried in the kitchen that Pawel didn't care, that she was the one carrying everything, I was glad that she had finally realized this clear thought. I hoped that the next thought would be that this relationship had run its course and that it was time to end it. Pawel didn't seem like the perfect son-in-law to me, because he approached his relationship with Gosia quite casually.
He himself was more interested in a relaxed lifestyle. He didn't want to achieve anything, he had no ambitions. He wasn't even in a hurry to move out of his parents' house. Maybe he just didn't have the motivation, but his daughter didn't want to see the obvious and listen to sensible advice. She decided that Pawel should be her husband, and the way he would achieve it was obvious. She was going to do it the old-fashioned way – by getting pregnant suddenly. I was categorically against it. Children should be born into a family, not a family should be born through children.
It's manipulation that never ends well. My daughter wanted to force Paweł into marriage, and I kept trying to talk her out of it, until one day she said it was too late because she was pregnant. My daughter was going to wait until it was too late to resolve the situation and only then tell her fiancé.
Paweł wasn't happy about the prospect of getting married and becoming a father, but under pressure from his parents he decided to get married so that “everything would be as God intended”. Gosia was radiant with happiness, she had achieved her goal. Family life turned out to be completely different from what she had imagined. Paweł is trying to be home less often. She stays late at work, meets with friends, goes to her parents. And when she's home, she either watches TV or fiddles with her phone. My daughter comes over and regularly complains that it's hard for her to be alone with the child, that her husband doesn't help with the housework, they often argue.
She doesn't have enough money, the child is capricious, in general, what she imagined didn't hold up in reality. I try to help Gosia as much as possible, because after all, she's my daughter, but my patience is running out too. Listening to her complain about the situation she created for herself is tiring. I offer her a way out of the situation — divorce, alimony, returning home, and we will support her and help her. But she prefers to complain.
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