I went to Germany, where I worked as a domestic help.

Real Life. "I Worked Abroad So My Kids Could Have a Better Life": Now That I'm Back, They Have No Time for Me

The decision to go abroad was the hardest in my life. I remember looking at my two little children – Ania and Krzyś – when they slept in the same bed. I was terrified. My husband had left us without any means of living, and I knew that my only chance of survival would be to work abroad. I promised myself that I would do everything to give my children a better future, even if it meant separation.

I left for Germany, where I worked as a domestic help. I got up at dawn, cleaned, cooked, and took care of strangers' children. Every penny I earned I sent to Poland so that my children could go to a good school, have new clothes, textbooks, and everything they needed.

Sometimes I allowed myself a little something – I would send them a card with warm wishes or a small gift. But the longing was indescribable. For years, I watched them grow up only in photos, listened to their voices on the phone, and imagined how much they would change.

When I finally decided to return, I was full of hope. I imagined how we would sit together at the table, how we would make up for the lost years. Ania already had a family, and Krzyś was well on his way to finishing his studies. I felt that my sacrifice had paid off.

The first day I arrived home, everything seemed different. The house was well-kept but cold, as if I had never been there. When Ania came with her husband and children, her welcome was cold. She hugged me quickly, then looked at her watch.

– Mom, it's great that you're back, but we only have a moment. The kids have classes and then a meeting at school.

– I tried to talk to Krzyś, but his answers were cursory. He was sitting at the table, looking at his phone.

– How were your studies? – I asked hopefully.

– Alright, Mom – he replied without looking up.

For the next few days I felt like a guest in their lives. Ania and Krzyś were busy with their own things. They didn't invite me for dinner, they didn't call, they didn't ask how I was. Each of my phone calls ended quickly, always with the same sentence: „Mom, I'm sorry, but I don't have time now.”

One day I gathered my courage and asked Ania:

– Sweetie, why does it seem to me that you're avoiding me?

She looked at me with a slight reproach.

– Mom, we just got used to life without you. You were abroad for so many years. You can't change that in one day.

Her words were like a blow. Was my place in this family really gone? Did the sacrifices I made for them mean nothing?

I cried for a long time that night. I thought about all the moments I had lost, the first days of school, birthdays, holidays. I realized that even though I was building a better life for them, I was not a part of their daily lives.

The next day, I decided to face reality. I woke up early in the morning and started making breakfast. When Krzyś came downstairs, he asked in surprise:

– Mom, what are you doing?

– I want us to spend some time together– I replied. – At least now that I'm back.

We sat down together at the table. I told them about my life abroad, about the difficulties, about loneliness.

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Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116