Michael and I have been married for twelve years. We met as adults, I just got divorced, and our children are grown.
I remember being impressed by his attitude towards his family – Michael spoke so warmly about his son, with such concern. After the divorce, I raised my children alone, and it seemed to me that it was a great success to meet a man for whom family was not an empty sound.
At first, everything went well. Michael turned out to be a caring, attentive man. But even then, you could see the warning signs – whenever his son called, my husband would drop everything and rush to solve his problems. Every little thing became a reason for his father to intervene.
Karol was already twenty years old, but his father still fully supported him. What's more, when his son got a job in the office as a manager with a modest salary, Michael was very happy: “Let him save, he's still young. He'll have time to earn money,” he said, sending his son another transfer. I tried not to interfere in their relationship. I have two children myself, but they have long lived their own lives.
From time to time they come to visit and help with the housework. They have never asked for money – they manage on their own. From my first marriage I have a one-room apartment, which I rent to a decent couple. The money is small, but stable and I will leave it to my children. But Karol, despite working in the office, was constantly on his father's back. He was always on his father's back, whether for a new phone or for a vacation. Every weekend he spent time with his friends in bars – all at his dad's expense.
When I gently suggested to my husband that it was time for our son to learn to budget, Michael simply brushed it off:
– You don't understand, he's still young, life is just beginning. Let him live as he pleases. Your children work all the time, they don't see the light of day – I bit my tongue. My children may work hard, but they are not dependent on anyone. But my husband was deaf to reason in this matter.
The situation worsened when Michael was suddenly laid off, and finding a new job was not easy. We decided to live off our savings for now – we had a decent amount of money and I work. We thought that my husband would soon find a new apartment and we would manage. But then Charles decided he needed a car.
– Marta, don't worry – my husband once told me after another conversation with our son – I helped Karol a little. He had some problems with the loan.
– How much did you give?? – I had a bad feeling.
– Wh… A significant part of our savings – Michał looked down with a sense of guilt – You see, he needed them urgently. He took out a new car on credit and didn't have the money to pay it off. They can take it away from him or even write him a fine.
My eyes darkened. Our money went to a grown man who can't live within his means.
– How are we going to live while you're looking for a job? – I tried to speak calmly, but my voice trembled treacherously.
– I thought about it – my husband sat down next to me, avoiding looking me in the eye – You have an apartment from your first marriage. You could sell it… And it's empty anyway.
– What? – I couldn't believe my ears – First of all, it's not empty, there are tenants living there. And secondly, you want me to sell the apartment I left to my children to cover your son's debts?
– Your children are adults now, they have their own apartment.
I got up quietly and went to another room. I called my daughter and told her about the situation. She supported me in my decision and assured me that her brother would say the same.
In the evening, Karol himself called me. He started telling me how ashamed he was that he had to borrow money from his father, but the situation was hopeless. He said that everyone at work had cars and he was the only one who was unlucky. And then, as if by accident, he mentioned my apartment.
I couldn't stand it and told him to sell the car instead of charging us his own debts. He said that if I didn't want to help, I didn't love his father.
I had a difficult conversation with my husband that evening. I explained that I wouldn't sell the apartment – it was my children's inheritance. He packed his things and went to his son's house. He's been living with him for a week now, saying that I'm heartless and don't understand parental feelings. He calls me just to remind me about the apartment, saying that I should think about it, not be selfish.
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