The first weeks after his passing were full of pain and chaos.
I was with Marek for twenty-five years. He was my husband, my friend, the father of our children. We built a life together, went through ups and downs, but I always thought we were a team, partners for better and for worse. When he suddenly died of a heart attack, my life collapsed. I lost not only my husband, but also a part of myself. But what I discovered after his death shattered my whole world.
The first weeks after he left were full of pain and chaos. The funeral, the formalities, the children who needed support – all of this kept me on the move. It was only after some time that I was able to sit down and try to sort out our affairs. Then things began to come to light that I had never expected.
It all started with one phone call. The female voice on the other end sounded uncertain, almost apologetic. “Mrs. Iwona?” she asked. “I'm sorry to call, but we need to talk about Mark.”
I felt my heart jump into my throat. “Who are you?” – I asked, trying to stay calm.
“My name is Alice,” – she replied. “I was…close to Mark.”
I didn't know what to say. Alice continued, as if she wanted to get everything off her chest as quickly as possible. “We'd been dating for fifteen years. I didn't know he had a second family until now. I know it sounds awful, but I had a right to the truth. I just wanted to understand who I was to him.”
Alice's words were like a slap in the face. Fifteen years? How is that possible? Does that mean he's been living a double life for half of our marriage?
„There must be some mistake– I said, my voice shaking.
„I have pictures, messages, memories– she replied. „I wouldn't have called if I wasn't sure.”
I hung up without a word. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to believe it could be true. But something inside me told me to check. I reached for Mark's things – his phone, his email, his documents. What I found confirmed every word Alicja had said.
Photos that should never have existed. Messages full of affection that weren't intended for me. Invoices for expensive gifts I never knew about. In a train of thought, I returned to moments that had seemed ordinary to me before – “business trips” that lasted too long, evenings when he “had meetings with clients”. Now all of these moments took on a new meaning.
The worst part was that Alicja wasn't the only woman in his life. After a few weeks, I discovered that Marek had another bank account that I didn't know about, and that he sent regular transfers to another woman. This time, I didn't have the courage to call her. It was enough for me to know that I wasn't the only woman he'd cheated on.
I felt like my whole life was one big lie. Every “I love you” he'd said, every moment we'd spent together, now seemed fake. Did he love me at all? Or was I just a convenient part of his life that he could push aside when it suited him?
The kids don't know. I don't have the heart to tell them. In their eyes, Marek is still a wonderful father, a man who did everything he could to give them a better future. But I can't look at pictures of him anymore without pain and anger.
Sometimes I wonder if I could have noticed something sooner. Was I too naive? Too busy with my kids and my daily life to see what was really happening? But even if I was, would it make any difference?
Today I am still trying to put my life back together. The memory of Mark is full of contradictions for me – the love I once felt and the betrayal that destroyed everything. The hardest question is the one I still ask myself every day: Was our entire marriage a lie?
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