It was a normal Saturday morning.
I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. She was strict, demanding, always had her own opinions and was never afraid to express them – even when it hurt others. I spent my whole life trying to earn her approval, but it seemed that no matter what I did, it would never be good enough. However, I never expected her to cross the line to break my heart.
It was a regular Saturday morning. My children – eight-year-old Kuba and five-year-old Zosia – were running around the house, getting ready to visit their grandmother. Despite my difficult relationship with my mother, I always tried to make sure she had contact with her grandchildren. I thought family was important, and children should know their roots.
When they returned from her house in the evening, I noticed something was wrong. Kuba was quiet, avoiding my gaze, and Zosia had a sad face. I tried to ask what was wrong, but they answered curtly that they were tired.
It was only later, when I was putting them to bed, that Kuba finally opened up.
– „Mom, is it true that you're a bad mom?”
I froze. I looked at him in disbelief.
– „Kuba, where did you get that idea? Who told you something like that?”
Zosia, lying next to her, whispered:
– „Grandma. She said you can't take care of us well.”
I felt like someone had poured a bucket of ice water on me. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I tried to stay calm for the sake of the children.
– „Children, Grandma is wrong. I love you more than anything in the world and I always do everything to make you happy. If you have any doubts, you can tell me.”
I hugged them tightly, but inside I was shaking. After they fell asleep, I sat in the living room, trying to understand how my own mother could do such a thing. She’d criticized me my whole life – my looks, my choices, my career – but I never thought she would go so far as to question my motherhood in the eyes of my children.
The next day, I decided to confront her. The moment she opened the door, I got straight to the point.
& “Mom, why did you tell my kids I wasn't a good enough mother?”
She looked at me with slight surprise, but she didn't seem apologetic.
– “Because it's true, Ania. You don't spend enough time with them, you're always busy with work. They need someone to really take care of them.”
Her words were like a knife stabbed straight through the heart.
– „Mom, I'm doing everything in my power to give them a good life. I may not be perfect, but I love them and I'm there for them whenever they need me. You have no right to say that, much less drag my kids into it!”
Mom shrugged.
– „I'm just telling it like it is. Maybe you should focus more on your family instead of trying to prove something to the world.”
I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I left feeling more hurt than ever.
Over the next few days I tried to talk to my kids and make sure they understood how much I loved them. I explained to them that Grandma might have said something that wasn’t true, but that it didn’t change the fact that I was there for them and always would be.
Over time, my relationship with my mom became even more strained. I didn’t stop visiting her with the kids, but I set clear boundaries – more situations like this couldn't happen again.
This story taught me one thing: criticism from loved ones hurts the most, but you can't let it destroy what we build with love. My mother never accepted my way of life, but that doesn't mean I have to let her decide who I am – neither as a daughter nor as a mother.
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