It all started innocently.
When my grandchildren were born, I felt that my life had taken on a new meaning. I was proud of my son, Mateusz, and happy that his family had grown. I wanted to be the best grandma in the world – always ready to help, support and give children love. However, I never thought that this love would be perceived as something bad.
It all started innocently. I spent a lot of time with my grandchildren when Mateusz and his wife, Justyna, were busy working. I cooked for them, picked them up from kindergarten, organized little surprises for them – ice cream in the park, new books to read at bedtime. I loved these moments. The children always seemed happy, and I felt like I was an important part of their lives.
However, over time I began to notice that Justyna was becoming increasingly cold towards me. She avoided conversation, made curt remarks that “maybe I should give them more space”. I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. I was just helping.
One day Justyna invited me for a talk. Mateusz was at work, the kids were at kindergarten, and I came with a cake, as always. Her tone immediately worried me.
– „We need to establish some rules– she began, looking at me with an expression I–difficult to see in her before.
„Of course, Justyna. If I do something wrong, tell me– I replied, trying to stay calm.
– „You're doing too much– she replied. – „I don't want you to decide for us how to raise our children. We are their parents, and you are overstepping the boundaries.”
I was shocked.
– „I'm overstepping the boundaries? Justyna, I do what every grandma does. I help when you need me. I never wanted to interfere.”
– „Really? And who told Ola she could eat chocolate before dinner? Or who taught Karol that he could complain to his parents if he didn't like something?”
Her accusations were like blows.
– „I didn't teach them anything bad! I just wanted them to feel loved and to have support from their grandmother” – I tried to defend myself, but I saw that Justyna had already made up her mind.
– „It's not working. Mateusz agrees with me. We don't want you to spend so much time with them. From now on, we'll limit your contacts.”
I don't remember what I said. I left their house, feeling my heart break. How could they just throw away everything I did for their family? Over the next few days I tried to talk to Mateusz, but he avoided the subject.
– „Mom, you have to understand that this is for the good of the children. We don't want there to be conflicts between us.”
– „Conflicts? Mateusz, what have I done to you? I sacrificed everything for you!”
His silence spoke louder than words.
Since that day, I've only seen my grandchildren sporadically – during family gatherings, where Justyna watches me closely, as if I were a threat. I can't take them for walks, I can't read them fairy tales, I can't be the grandma I wanted to be.
Every evening I ask myself: what did I do wrong? Was I too involved? Could I really be perceived as someone who imposes her opinion? Or maybe Justyna simply never accepted me and now found an excuse to push me away?
My house, once filled with the laughter of my grandchildren, now seems empty. Their drawings still hang on the fridge, and the books I bought them lie untouched on the shelves. My heart still beats for them, but their laughter and presence are now just a memory.
I know I can't make Justyna change her mind. But I can't stop loving my grandchildren either. I pray every day that one day they'll understand how much I love them and that I'll always be here – even if their parents don't want me to be a part of their lives.
See what else we've written about in recent days: From Life. “My Family Blames Me for the Breakup of My Brother's Marriage”: Even If I Only Told the Truth