I got married when I was eighteen.
My family could not be called wealthy. My parents did not attach much importance to our upbringing and we had enough money to make ends meet. I have a sister and a brother. My sister also got married early, but her husband turned out to be a very uninformed and unemployed person. And my brother, unfortunately, fell into bad company and I don't even know what will happen to him.
We lived in the city all our lives, but now my parents moved to the country because their apartment burned down. Taking all this into account, it seemed to me that the choice I made was very good and was supposed to make me happy. However, everything turned out not to be as rosy as I thought.
My husband worked as a legal adviser in a factory. He earned a good living, but he was terribly bored. His family accepted me well, but often reminded me of where they had taken me from. We lived in a one-room apartment and there was not enough space, even for us, but when we had a child, things became even more difficult. My husband was already dissatisfied with the way I cooked, ironed, cleaned, and then there was twice as much work and his dissatisfaction grew.
“You sit at home all day and do nothing. And you don't have to hide behind a small child, it sleeps peacefully all day.” My husband took advantage of my stupidity, as much as he could: he threw himself at me for any reason and for no reason, treated me with contempt and said that I was breathing down his neck. But when we had another child two years later, I expressed my willingness to take up employment, but he categorically opposed it. He contradicted himself. Although now I realize that he simply did not want me to become independent and have something of my own.
Later, when the children were a bit older, I didn't listen to my husband. I sent the children to kindergarten and took a job. He didn't like it at all, saying that the children needed round-the-clock care and was indignant, saying that I was no mother… And once he argued with me about a hair comb.
I allowed myself to buy a new comb, and he made a big fuss about it. At that point, my patience ran out and I told him I was leaving. And he told me: “Go, of course, and don't forget to take your slippers and dressing gown, because that's all you have.” And he kept his word, in court he was able to prove that I had nothing, so the children had to stay with him, and I had to pay alimony. But I didn't give up.
I paid alimony and worked two jobs. At first I rented a room, and then I could afford to rent a small apartment. Now I understand how important it is for a person to stand on their own feet and not be dependent on anyone. It's still not easy for me, but I am free in my desires and actions.
When my ex-husband found out what I had achieved, he said I could take my children back because I was earning enough money to afford rent. I told him I would continue to pay alimony, but I wouldn't take the children.
Now my mother-in-law takes care of them mainly. I would like to take them to my place, but now I feel that it will be better for them if I work hard and provide them with a good future. I maintain a relationship with my children, and they fully understand and support me.
Take a look: Real life. “My son-in-law helped with repairs, and now he wants payment for his services”: We are one family, how can that be