A few weeks before the holidays, I called Marta to discuss the details of the preparations.
In our family, Christmas Eve was always something special. Everyone had their own tasks – mom baked cakes, dad did the shopping, and my sister and I helped decorate the house. After my son Piotr married Marta, I decided to welcome her into our family tradition with open arms. I was counting on her becoming a part of our annual holiday magic.
I didn't think that one day Christmas Eve would become the cause of the biggest conflict in our family.
A few weeks before the holidays, I called Marta to discuss the details of the preparations.
We always agreed on who would prepare which dishes and how we would divide the duties. I wanted Marta to get involved in the organization, just like everyone else. The answer I heard was like a bucket of cold water.
– „I don't think we'll be able to help this year. Piotr and I have a lot of work, and Christmas Eve is basically just one evening. There's no point in struggling so much.”
I didn't know what to say. The words „only one evening” sounded like a slap in the face. For me, Christmas Eve was something more – it was a symbol of unity, love, and tradition that had connected our family for generations.”
– „Marta, I understand that you're busy, but this is our family celebration. Everyone brings something from themselves, it's not just about food, it's about being together.”
Marta sighed, as if my request was a huge burden to her.
– „Really, this is a waste of time. We could just come ready, right? There's no need to involve everyone.”
After this conversation, I felt my frustration growing. I tried to understand her approach, but what she said was incomprehensible to me. I talked to Piotr, hoping he would understand the gravity of the situation.
– „Son, Marta doesn't want to participate in the preparations for Christmas Eve. Isn't that a bit … inappropriate?”
Piotr looked at me, confused.
– „Mom, Marta's right. We're really busy this year. You always organize everything anyway, I don't see the problem.”
– „It's not about the organization, Piotr. It's about everyone feeling part of this tradition, about us being together. And not just guests at the table.”
Piotr shrugged.
– „Don't overdo it. It's just Christmas Eve.”
These words hurt me even more. Our entire tradition, everything we had built over the years, was reduced to “just Christmas Eve.” I felt rejected and misunderstood.
When Christmas Eve came, Marta and Piotr arrived late in the evening. The table was already set, the food was ready, and the atmosphere was tense. Marta was talking to the others as if nothing had happened, but I couldn't shake the feeling of regret.
During dinner, I finally couldn't take it anymore.
– „Marta, can I ask why Christmas Eve is so unimportant to you.? It's more than food to us. It's our family tradition.”
Marta looked at me, her tone cold.
– „Not everyone likes to live in the past. For me, the holidays are about relaxing, not constantly cleaning and cooking. Maybe it's time for you to stop being so dramatic.”
The guests fell silent, and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I wanted to say something, but I realized that my words wouldn't change anything anyway.
After dinner, Marta and Piotr left first, and I stayed at the table, looking at the empty plate for the unexpected guest. I wondered where I had gone wrong. Was I too demanding?? Or maybe the new generation just doesn't understand the importance of such traditions??
Today, Christmas Eve looks different. Marta and Piotr still come, but their participation is limited to their presence at the table. I realized that I won't change their approach, but I still try to cultivate what is most important to me – family and tradition. Even if some people treat it as a “waste of time”, for me it will remain a symbol of what really matters.
See what else we've written about in recent days: From life. “During a conversation with my grandmother, I learned that my mother was hiding the existence of my older brother from us”