Comment: Sweden, do you want to join NATO? The bazaar is open – Here are Finland's 7 demands
Finland expects friendship and cooperation. Let's start with ice hockey and skiing, writes news manager Solmu Salminen. Turkey opened the NATO door to Finland on Friday. firstname.lastname@example.orgToday at 17:31
The rapid progress of Finland's NATO membership and the country's partial separation from the process of its western neighbor Sweden may have changed the prevailing political situation in the Baltic Sea and Nordic region.
Finland has gone through fruitful bilateral negotiations with the Mediterranean military power Turkey, and future allies have stated that Finland has responded to all concerns raised by President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan in the manner required by Turkey. Finland is becoming a full member of NATO, while our close neighbor Sweden is still trying to show that it meets the criteria set by Turkey.
In these times of fruitful bilateral negotiations and agreements of intent, the NATO member country Finland could also have discussions with Sweden in the immediate near future. The two countries should perhaps conclude an agreement on Finland's initiative that reflects the good neighborly relations of the parties and in which Sweden expresses its unwavering commitment to cooperation in order to maintain its NATO application process. In this case, Finland can confidently pursue Sweden's NATO project within the defense alliance.
In a friendly document, the high contracting parties should implement at least the following projects as sincerely as possible.
1. The 6-5 final score of the 2003 Ice Hockey World Cup quarter-final match between Sweden and Finland is annulled. Sweden must recognize its national ice hockey team Tre Kronor as a terrorist organization and hand over the ex-ice hockey player Mats Sundi, known as the “Killer of Finland” to Finland. In addition to the events of 2003, Tre Kronor and Sundin have, in several different contexts, denigrated the Finnish sports culture and gained national and financial benefits at its expense.
The 2003 World Cup quarter-final was a tough place for the Finns. VESA KOIVUNEN
2. The Swedish national skiing team commits to a time penalty, which causes the Swedish skier to lose 0.01 seconds to Finland in the free-choice Olympic trip. With the measure, Sweden compensates Finland for more than 40 years of experience of injustice from Juha Miedo's top skiing in Lake Placid in 1980. Sweden publicly declares that the timing of the Olympic skiing was probable measurement error in favor of Sweden.
3. Ikea furniture stores will start serving Saarioinen meatballs. Furniture will be sold to Finnish customers with a fixed 20 percent discount and will be delivered to homes pre-assembled free of charge. Contrary to what has been wrongly claimed for decades in Sweden, meatballs are a Finnish traditional food and in any case they have ended up in Sweden from the traditional food culture of Finland's ally Turkey. Calling meatballs Swedish thus offends both Finnish and Turkish cultures.
Ikea's furniture could also be delivered assembled. Vesa Laitinen
4. Sweden's Eurovisa representative is chosen annually by Finland. Alongside the New Music Competition, the Modest Music Competition will be held, where Finland's prestigious jury and the audience will decide on the candidates offered by the Swedish artist's western neighbor. With the procedure, Finland ensures that the style and quality of the music of Sweden's Eurovision representative supports Finland's best possible placement in the song contest. Sweden's actions so far show that the country has had undesirable totalitarian aspirations regarding the singing competition.
Loreen has already won Eurovision. His participation in the 2023 competition may be considered inappropriate. EPA/AOP
5. Sweden should give its highest peak, Kebnekaise, to Finland as a territorial cession. From the perspective of the countries' relations, it is important that Finland is a higher country than Sweden and that it includes, in addition to fells, a peak that is considered a real mountain. As a full member of NATO, Finland urgently needs an even wider observation opportunity to the east. The view is substantially clearer from the top of the 2,094-meter mountain.
6. Princess Estelle starts listening to Finnish heavy metal music instead of Metallica. The consumption of American mass-produced music tends to reduce the appreciation of Finland's vast, culturally historically significant metal music industry. Estellen, 11, will start her music studies, which respects Finland more than before, from the debut album Muanpiälline helevetti (2006) by the Savolan death metal band Verjnuarmu.
Instead of Finnish quality metal, Princess Estelle prefers an American brand band, which, according to critics, has not made a single good record since 1989. EPA/AOP
7. The King of Sweden must issue an official apology to the international community for inventing sour syrup. The apology has been delayed even more regrettably than the Catholic Church's apology to Galileo Galilei in 1992: Galilei stated that the Earth revolves around the Sun in the 17th century, but according to various reports, Sweden unleashed sour syrup even in the 16th century without apologizing to this day.
This the man rules the land that gave the world sour molasses without anyone asking for it. Jenni Gästgivar