A mask that hides a lack of self-love: what is selfishness

Illustrative photo/unsplash

Have you noticed that people who show obvious selfishness often give the impression of being deeply dissatisfied? They seem to live with a constant need to be the center of attention and the first in everything, and their actions seem to scream: “Look at me!”

But behind this bright facade, fragility and pain are often hidden. “Psychological Support” writes about this.

Egoism becomes a protective mask for those who have not really learned to love and accept themselves.

Why is this happening?

1. Fear of being alone. The egoist is afraid that without constant attention, the environment will stop appreciating him, and therefore, will stop loving him. Behind every demand for attention is the fear of abandonment.

2. Insufficient self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often try to prove their worth through external trappings of success. They strive to show their “value” to others, although deep down they do not believe in it themselves.

3. Lack of deep relationships. True close relationships are based on trust and mutual respect. A selfish approach does not allow you to fully take care of the needs of others, and therefore, such people cannot feel the power of support and trust in relationships.

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4. Healthy self-love vs selfishness
The fine line between self-love and selfishness is often confusing. A person who truly loves himself does not need constant confirmation from the outside: he appreciates himself as he is and builds strong relationships. Selfish people, on the other hand, seek approval in order to raise their self-esteem, because they are afraid to be themselves, afraid of their own imperfection.

Egoism – this is not just a character trait, it is a cry for love, recognition and support. True strength comes when we take off this mask and allow ourselves to be open. By loving ourselves, we open our hearts to love others.

How to move from selfishness to healthy self-love?

1. Accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses.

2. Work on self-esteem. Find ways to value your own achievements and your path, regardless of what others think.

3. Learn to express feelings openly, without fear of judgment or rejection.

4. Develop relationships in which there is room for support, understanding, and mutual assistance.
You should not perceive selfishness as a sentence or a flaw. It only indicates that a person needs help, in particular a psychologist. Understanding yourself is the first step to a fulfilling life and harmonious relationships with others.