My husband Michael has no ambitions whatsoever. For 15 years he has been working as an ordinary administrator, earning pennies a month.
But he is happy with it. In recent years I have managed to study, build a clientele and eventually become the owner of my own beauty studio instead of an employed hairdresser.
At the same time, I managed to give birth to a son for my husband. I have the impression that Michał does not even notice how the furniture, wallpaper, plumbing and food on the table change in our house.
I tried to talk to him several times about the fact that a person has to develop and grow, and finally talk to his director. He himself said that his workload had increased. He should raise his salary or make him a department manager. After all, he has been working for this office for so many years. It is high time they appreciated him.
– Irenka, we have five similar system administrators. They all have a lot of work and experience behind them. What's the point of being the boss now? Besides, why do I need this? The salary is ridiculous and the headache is twice as big – replied my husband.
These conversations continued year after year. At first, I thought that talking about my development would be an encouragement to my husband. Then I started encouraging him by telling him how good he was. As a result, I started to get angry at him and at myself for choosing a freeloader over a husband.
I understand that everyone is the creator of their own destiny. Now I am starting to doubt that I need a man without a moral backbone, like my husband. Michael not only does not bring in a large income for the house, but he does not even do basic housework. He cannot drive a nail into a wall, replace a doorknob or install a sink. All of this is done by professionals, whom I pay for some reason.
Even this fact does not bother my husband at all and does not hurt his male ego. The thing is, I love my husband. He used to not be very proactive either, but you could push him to do something. Now, if my husband feels uncomfortable, he sits in front of the monitor and plays some dancing or shooting games.
I can't stand the situation where I have to support myself, our son, and even my husband (his salary is simply not enough to buy clothes, shoes, or equipment). I feel like I have not one, but two children.
One day our conflict escalated. I came home from work and found my husband playing a computer game. I asked him what happened that he came home from work early, to which he snapped back that he had taken my advice and asked for a promotion, and in response the director had fired him.
“Yes, honey, as of today I am unemployed. You can be proud of yourself,” he drawled. One moment I suggested to him that he should go to his mother's to play and rack up the bills, which he did – at five in the morning, because that's how long it took him to complete all the levels of the game. We had a terrible fight because I tried to comfort him, motivate him, I said that now he has a chance to find a new, really future-oriented job, where he will be appreciated for his professionalism.
He flushed all his arguments down the toilet…then I said that if he wants to stay at home, I'm not going to support him and he can go to his mommy with his game…The problem is that I love this snowman, but I'm afraid that when I bring him back, he'll settle down in the armchair and blossom there at my expense…
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