I took my mother to our place. For good.
Without any prior planning, just one day, with one bag. The bag contained tights, slippers with the words “Best Grandma in the World” written on them (a gift from my children), a warm bathrobe, a shirt, and for some reason a pillowcase.
A senior citizen has been living in my house for three weeks. She is slim, has a snow-white bun on her head, and wears cotton tights that are wrinkled at the ankles. She walks down the hallway, quietly shuffling her warm slippers, stops carefully at the threshold and lifts her legs high, overcoming invisible obstacles.
She smiles at the dog in the hallway. She hears invisible people and tells me their daily news. She is shy and sleeps a lot. She gently bites off a piece of chocolate (I always put chocolate in her room) and drinks tea, holding the cup with both hands – one hand is shaking. She is very afraid of losing the wedding ring from her slender hand, she constantly checks it.
Suddenly I see how old and helpless she is. She has simply let go of everything, has relaxed and stopped pretending to be an adult. She has trusted me with her life completely, absolutely, in every detail. And the most important thing for her is that she is home. She sighs with such relief when I come home that I try not to leave for long. And I cook soup for dinner every day again, just like I did for my children, and there is a bowl of cookies on the table again… What I feel?
At first – terror. She was independent and wanted to live alone for three years after her father died. I understand her – for the first time in her life, at the age of eighty-eight, my mother did what she wanted. But unfortunately, old age takes its toll.
Now I feel compassion for this fragile universe, love and tenderness. I understand perfectly what path we are walking together. I really want this path to be happy for her – with her beloved daughter, in warmth and comfort. With homemade pierogi and cutlets. Nothing else matters to my mom.
I now have an eighty-eight-year-old daughter at home and I am glad that God gave me the opportunity to make her last years happy and my future life peaceful, without remorse. Mom, thank you for being there. Please stay as long as possible…
Take a look: Advent prayer. Grace and love will flow to you and your loved ones
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