>>
Sisters/unsplash
In every family, it is important to maintain a healthy hierarchy: parents play the role of guardians, and children remain children. But it happens that parents impose excessive responsibility on the child for living or raising younger children, which leads to the appearance of the so-called “elder sister syndrome”.
It is very common to find that older children in large families are forced to perform part of the responsibilities of adults. This is stated in the Telegram channel “Psychological Support”.
Some parents may avoid responsibility or deliberately transfer it to older children, especially after the birth of younger brothers or sisters. Addiction, illness, or other difficulties in one parent can also shift the balance of the family hierarchy. Children begin to perform the role of moral support for adults.
Older children often face greater demands and feel unfair treatment, which further strengthens their duty to “be an example”. All this eventually provokes in the child:
- Hyper responsibility;
- Decreased self-esteem;
- Neglect of own needs;
- Excessive independence ;
- Fear of starting your own family.
How to restore balance?
< p>1. Restoring a healthy hierarchy. It is important for parents to remind themselves of their responsibility for education and life. The distribution of responsibilities must be fair and not exceed the capabilities of the children.
2. Forming relationships based on agreements. Children have the right to refuse tasks beyond their capabilities. Tasks of adults – support and help.
3. Viewing Responsibilities. If the older child performs too many responsibilities, it is worth returning some of these tasks to the parents or distributing them among other family members.
4. Psychological support. It is important to teach the child to express his emotions and say “no” without fear of being rejected. In some cases, a consultation with a psychologist may be useful.
Adults should always be aware that children should not replace their parents and do not have to be perfect.