I always beat myself in the chest for always lending a hand where people could do something themselves.

Real-life. "My brother's family is temporarily living with us, and the apartment has turned into a dormitory": My sister-in-law doesn't help me at all

As a result, I am the only one who is left with her hand in the potty, and everyone else is fine.

I have an older brother, Zygmunt, and we have been very close friends since childhood. I am glad that we have managed to maintain our warm relationship over the years. Zyga has been married for a long time, I am also married and we both have school-age children. We live in the same city and see each other very often.

Recently my brother finally decided to take out a mortgage because the preferential programs in all banks were coming to an end. He bought a two-room apartment in a new building on the outskirts of the city. Before that, they had been renting an apartment for many years – they changed addresses three times in 10 years.

My husband and I were luckier, of course – we live in a three-room apartment belonging to his parents, who are retired and moved to his father-in-law's small town in another city.

Zyga called me first with the good news about buying the apartment:

-Lidka, that's it – I got the keys. We're starting the renovation, there are only bare walls. We just have to decide where to stay while the work is done – We have to leave the rented apartment in a week… Maybe we can rent something for a few months.”

-No way! You already have huge expenses. Come live with us – I replied without thinking.

Our family life changed dramatically in a week: after all, 6 people in a three-room apartment is a lot. But I was sure that we would manage to organize our lives – after all, we have two women for two men and two teenagers! But as it turned out, I rejoiced too soon. My sister-in-law, Anka, is a peculiar girl. Although we are both in our forties, she seems to be stuck at 25.

Maybe I think so because Zyga is five years older than his wife and constantly emphasizes his masculinity around her. Before my brother bought the apartment, I thought that what do I care about the nuances of their relationship? They live together, my brother is happy and that is the most important thing.

But now my sister-in-law's infantilism has become my problem. For the first week, my brother, his wife, and son lived with us, and I took care of everything. My daughter at least took care of my cousin, she is two years older than him: she woke him up, helped him with his homework, picked him up from school. And I prepared food for our whole family, did laundry, cleaned. It was strange to me that Anka never offered to help during this time. At the end of the second week, I simply gave in and decided to talk to my sister-in-law.

-You work remotely, you sit with your laptop 24/7. Can you at least cook soup for all six of us or even basic pasta ? I am torn to shreds! – I said.

-Oh, Lidka, I don't cook that much… Zygmunt always feeds Pawełek for breakfast by himself, they go together. For dinner I cook something, or mom brings it. She often comes to us, and Pawełek is almost always with her too… – Anka replied in a lazy voice.

-Okay, cooking is not your thing. What about washing and ironing? Look how many people we have now! And that's for at least two months – I continued, barely holding myself back

-Your washing machine is completely different… And the iron too. And what if I break something? – my sister-in-law said quietly and again stared at the laptop. “Mm-hmm, my brother has an interesting life,” I thought.

Late in the evening, when the children were already asleep, Zygmunt came to my kitchen.

-Lidka, why did you do that? – he asked me sternly. It turned out that Anka had complained to Zygmunt that I wanted to involve her in the housework. Although I don't throw anyone out because they would have nowhere else to go, the atmosphere in the house is thick and tense.

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Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116