It is usually assumed that the mother-in-law will default to the son and will always nag and snap at the daughter-in-law.
But with my mother and Sylvia, it was the other way around from the very beginning. I introduced my fiancée to my mother when I was already thirty-two. My mother was already worried that I would never marry and give her grandchildren. So she was very happy when I finally brought home a girl and announced that we would soon be married.
They hit it off right away. Although my mother is a rather hot-tempered and difficult person, she and my wife almost never argued. The fact that they were somewhat similar probably played a part. She didn't even mind that my mother lived two houses down from us. Besides, they often did things together. They worked in the garden, went to the store.
The only thing that didn't sit right with me about this whole idyll was that during our arguments with my wife, my mother always took her side.
Once my wife got angry because I didn't go shopping with her on the weekend, as I promised. Even though she knew perfectly well that I had been working like a dog for the past month and all I wanted was to sleep.
-Well, you have to be understanding – my mother told me. – Sylwia is at home with two small children, it's hard for her.
-Mom! – I shouted – Most women work when they have children our age. And Sabina stays at home and lacks nothing!
-That's no reason to shout at her – my mother replied. I would like my conflicts with my wife to be resolved without my mother's interference. But when I told my wife about it, she said she wouldn't keep quiet, and that my mother had the right to express her opinion.
Once again, when I argued with my wife, my mother took her side. This time because I thought Sylwia was spending too much money on various unnecessary things. When I expressed my dissatisfaction, Sylwia became indignant, and my mother said that I didn't understand them as women.
Another row broke out, but after a while my wife came to make a truce. However, I finally decided to talk about it with my mother. Imagine my surprise when it turned out that although my mother criticized me, taking Sabina's side, she also talked to her in private and made my wife reach out for reconciliation first.
Since then, I have a different perspective on our relationship. I appreciate my mother's wisdom and my wife's own opinion.
Take a look: Newborn found in the Window of Life. Gender and name known. This is the fifth child in the Single Mothers' Home