Since childhood, I grew up in an environment of complete control and distrust.

From real life. "Mother started visiting us more often": Under the pretext of cleaning, she only looks for "dirt" on us throughout the house

I still can't understand what made my parents treat me and my older brother so harshly. We both did well in school, and I was actively involved in extracurricular activities.

If something happened at home, it was my brother and I who were to blame. No one wanted to look into it, we were always punished. It hurt me especially when a shelf fell down, which my father had literally hung with his spit and then blamed me – that my friends and I were going crazy and knocked it down.

As soon as the opportunity arose to leave home and go to college in another city, I did so. Over twenty years later, I graduated and got married. Now our son Sebastian is in his last year of college.

The main principle in our home is mutual trust. Even if my son makes a mistake, he always comes to me first: he knows that I will not blame him uncritically, but will solve everything. My father is no longer alive, but my mother visits us quite often. I am happy to see her. The traumas from childhood have long since been forgotten, and my mother is at an age when she often behaves like a child herself – she needs care and understanding.

It was only recently that I began to notice that she did not seem to be happy that everything was going well with us. I started telling her something about my job, and she asked me:

-But just in case, you're looking for a new job?

-Why? I'm happy here – I answered.

-You work today, and tomorrow you'll be fired – my mom says, pursing her lips.

-But somehow you've been working in the same place for over thirty years? – I ask sarcastically.

-I'm not you, that's another matter – she replies. And I don't even want to know what she means by that! You can hear that distrust in her voice.

Mom likes to clean our apartment. Of course I refuse every time, I don't let her vacuum or mop the floor, and dusting and putting things away is not that hard.

In the morning I left her a pile of ironed laundry and we all went about our business. When I came back in the evening, I found my mother in the kitchen. She was sitting there with a serious, sad face, and on the table in front of her was an open quarter of vodka.

-What's this? – I asked tiredly.

-I found a bottle, it was hidden on the mezzanine. I knew your Sebuś drinks in secret from you! – my mother laughed.

I went to the kitchen, took the bottle and put it in the fridge. I was the one who bought a small bottle instead of alcohol to wipe the injection site – last year I gave Sebastian injections when he had a sore throat.

-You've lived your whole life and you don't understand that a bottle won't stay with a drinker for long, he won't drink it sip by sip! – I replied with a smile.

– And I saw indecent magazines under his bed! – my mother snapped.

– And what were you looking for under your grandson's bed?? – I was surprised.

– I know how kids are these days. He tells you one thing and he's probably smoking and drinking around the corner! – my son's grandmother complained. Only he's an athlete and I know he doesn't smoke.

– Just because he wasn't caught doesn't mean he doesn't smoke – my mother insisted. What kind of person is she? Why does she always have to suspect the worst in the people she loves?

I've never been disappointed in my mom, but I can't remember her ever complimenting me on anything. She can't be happy herself, so she ruins everyone else's mood! It seems to me that only a dirty fact from our lives or a real scandal involving her grandson would bring her joy. Then she'd happily exclaim, “I told you so!” What's wrong with her?

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Natasha Kumar

By Natasha Kumar

Natasha Kumar has been a reporter on the news desk since 2018. Before that she wrote about young adolescence and family dynamics for Styles and was the legal affairs correspondent for the Metro desk. Before joining The Times Hub, Natasha Kumar worked as a staff writer at the Village Voice and a freelancer for Newsday, The Wall Street Journal, GQ and Mirabella. To get in touch, contact me through my natasha@thetimeshub.in 1-800-268-7116